The Marauders' Notes
by Esin of Sardis
Summary: "Mr. Moony wishes to remind Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs what happened last time they were passing notes in class." Four Marauders, four pieces of bewitched parchment, and a whole schedule of boring classes to fill with something more interesting! 6th and 7th year James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter's version of paying attention doesn't involve much actual attention.
1. Boredom and Lily Evans' Head

Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter. Sorry to disappoint you there. It belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me. Oh, and this disclaimer is for the whole story.

* * *

**A/N:** This story takes place during the spring of the Marauders' 6th Year at Hogwarts. They have charmed a piece of parchment so that when one of them writes on it, the message shows up on the other three pieces as well. (It's like a magical group chat.) This way, they can talk to each other in class without being detected. They refer to themselves in the third person most of the time, but for the times that they don't:

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter One: Boredom and Lily Evans' Head

In Muggle Studies...

**_Mr. Padfoot declares this class pointless and boring._**

**Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Padfoot, but requests that he leave him alone. Mr. Moony wishes to take notes.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony is being a good-goody spoilsport.

**_Mr. Padfoot invites Mr. Prongs to talk over here instead._**

**Mr. Moony wishes to remind Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs what happened last time they were passing notes in class.**

_Mr. Wormtail wants to know what Mr. Moony is talking about._

**_Mr. Padfoot wants Mr. Wormtail to shut up and begs Mr. Moony to forget about aforementioned embarrassing and unpleasant memories._**

**Exactly. That's why you and Prongs should quit passing notes.**

**_Mr. Padfoot reminds Mr. Moony for the zillionth time to identify his note with his name._**

Mr. Prongs joins Mr. Padfoot in his reminder to Mr. Moony.

_Mr. Wormtail wishes to add that we need to appear as if we are working._

Mr. Prongs thinks that Mr. Wormtail should shut up. Again.

Later in Defense Against the Dark Arts…

Mr. Prongs is bored and in want of entertainment. He is open for suggestions.

**_Mr. Padfoot is bored too and is happy to join Mr. Prongs in whatever endeavors might be_** **_thought up._**

Wormtail? Moony? Any suggestions?

**Oh… I don't know… maybe you could take notes for once?**

**_Mr. Padfoot is slightly scandalized by Mr. Moony's suggestion._**

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot and would like to add that taking notes would be even more boring than passing them.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders where Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs would be without Mr. Moony._

**Mr. Moony doesn't have to wonder. He knows they would have been several years expelled already.**

Mr. Prongs would like to express his undying gratitude to Mr. Moony.

**_Mr. Padfoot seconds that opinion and wants to add that Mr. Wormtail ought to keep his scruffy nose and thoughts to himself._**

_Mr. Wormtail is of the opinion that he can say whatever he likes._

Mr. Prongs agrees that Mr. Wormtail should shut up.

Later in Transfiguration…

**_Mr. Padfoot is very much interested to know what exactly Mr. Prongs finds so fascinating about the back of Lily Evans' head._**

Mr. Prongs thinks that no matter how interested Mr. Padfoot may be, he shall remain curious because he will now leave Mr. Prongs alone.

**_Mr. Padfoot is adamant and continues to press for details._**

**Mr. Moony finds it prudent to inquire of Mr. Prongs on Mr. Padfoot's behalf.**

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders what he is missing if Mr. Moony is worried enough to inquire._**

**Mr. Moony would like to inquire as to how exactly Mr. Prongs knows that Mr. Padfoot will now leave him alone.**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks that Mr. Prongs has a new hex he wishes to test out._

Wormtail!

_Sorry Prongs._

**_Yeah. Shut up Wormtail. Anyway, Mr. Padfoot can take anything Mr. Prongs throws at him._**

Mr. Prongs sincerely doubts that.

**_Mr. Padfoot is eager to prove himself to Mr. Prongs at the earliest convenience._**

Mr. Prongs will take Mr. Padfoot up on that offer, but right now Mr. Padfoot is distracting him from more interesting things.

**Mr. Moony seconds that opinion that Mr. Padfoot is being distracting, but believes that Mr. Prongs is not so eager to get back to his impressive note-taking skills.**

Mr. Prongs thinks that Mr. Moony should leave him alone too.

**Mr. Moony would be happy to if Mr. Padfoot weren't so insistent on his participation in** **this…stimulating conversation.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is willing to excuse Mr. Moony from this discourse on the condition that he shares his notes._**

**Mr. Moony disapproves and suggests that Mr. Padfoot take his own notes.**

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony.

**_Mr. Padfoot finds the idea of note-taking repulsive and wants to find another topic of_** **_conversation._**

_Mr. Wormtail wants to know if Mr. Padfoot is referring to Mr. Prongs' interest in Miss Evans._

**_Mr. Padfoot bids Mr. Wormtail to shut up and please not waste parchment by stating the_** **_obvious._**

Mr. Prongs seconds that statement and wishes Mr. Padfoot would follow his own advice.

**_Mr. Padfoot gives advice for those who are not fortunate enough to be him._**

**Mr. Moony is suffocating under the pressure of Mr. Padfoot's inflated ego.**

**_Remarks about his ego aside, Mr. Padfoot wishes to get back on topic._**

By continuing this line of interrogation, Mr. Padfoot is only bringing down disappointment upon his sorry self.

**_Mr. Padfoot is insulted that Mr. Prongs is not impressed by his greatness._**

**Will you two just stop it and pretend to pay attention?!**

**_Mr. Padfoot chastises Mr. Moony for his forgetfulment of the rules._**

**"Forgetfulment" is not even a word, Padfoot.**

Mr. Prongs issues a second warning to Mr. Moony. Another offense will result in a hex.

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't care if it wasn't a word because it is one now._**

**And who—**

**_Moony! The rules!_**

**Fine! Mr. Moony would like to know what idiot gave Mr. Padfoot the right to make up words.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is the grantor of all rights._**

**Mr. Moony would like to announce that Mr. Padfoot will be giving lessons on acquiring and maintaining an enormous ego on the third and fourth Tuesday of each month at seven p.m.—**

**_Mr. Padfoot ridicules Mr. Moony for preposterous ideas._**

Mr. Prongs assures Mr. Moony that "preposterous" is a word.

**I know that!**

Mr. Prongs would like Mr. Moony to control his temper; we are in class.

**_Mr. Padfoot suggests that Mr. Moony get back to his brilliant note-taking._**

**Mr. Moony is interested in knowing the reasons behind Mr. Padfoot's sudden interest in note-taking.**

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that his interest in notes is limited to those taken by Mr. Moony._**

**Mr. Moony questions the validity of Mr. Padfoot's motives.**

**_Mr. Padfoot draws the attention of Messer's Moony and Wormtail to the fact that Mr. Prongs is distracted._**

**Yes, Padfoot... It's fascinating. Now that I've missed most of the lesson may I return to my note-taking? I have better things to do than watch Prongs watch Evans.**

**_Mr. Padfoot gives Mr. Moony permission to return to his notes._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Padfoot is so suddenly interested in Mr. Prongs' interest in Miss_ _Evans. Mr. Wormtail feels that he might be missing something._

**_Mr. Padfoot chides Mr. Wormtail for his lack of attention to important matters._**

**Mr. Moony congratulates Mr. Padfoot for his impressive variety of verbs and wonders when Prongs' non-existent love life came to reside under "important matters."**

**_Mr. Padfoot has always considered Mr. Prongs' and Miss Evans' relationship of the utmost_** **_importance._**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to know if this is out of concern for Mr. Prongs or because watching_ _them is so amusing._

**_Both._**

**Mr. Moony is not surprised.**

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! This _will_ be a multi-chapter fic. I'll try to update once a week or so, but it all depends on my schedule and how fast I can write. I do have several more chapters partly written though.

Thanks for reading! Please Review!

~esin


	2. The Note Taking Scandal

**A/N: **Hello everybody! Here's chapter two. Sorry about the mispost earlier. This is the first time I've added a chapter to something and I hit the wrong button. :P

I'd like to thank my **awesome** reviewers: Kagrara, boxcat, Owl Warrior 3528, 4everbookworm, and The Demigod Gryffindor.

**Owl Warrior 3528:** I was thinking it was just one of James and Sirius' days. They're all friends, but they're also comfortable with teasing each other. They don't mean it maliciously, teenage boys just seem to like to insult each other. There's a bit more of Peter and his interaction with them in this chapter. Hope you like it!

Thanks also to everyone who added this story to their alerts or favourites! Love you guys!

More thanks to my awesome brother (a.k.a. Mr. Typing Monkey) for typing all of this up for me. You should all thank him too. I wouldn't be updating now if it weren't for him. I'd still be typing.

And a reminder for those who forgot:

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Two: The Note Taking Scandal

In Muggle Studies…

_Mr. Wormtail would like to express his astonishment that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are_ _actually taking notes._

**_Mr. Padfoot is hurt by this slur on his typical classroom behavior._**

Mr. Prongs feels compelled to point out that Mr. Moony is not here to take notes.

_Mr. Wormtail is surprised that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs care enough about their education to_ _take notes in Mr. Moony's absence._

Mr. Prongs thinks that Mr. Wormtail is being ridiculous.

**_Mr. Padfoot has a lot more fun at school than anywhere else. Except when he's in class, of_** **_course._**

Mr. Prongs would appreciate it if Mr. Wormtail and Mr. Padfoot would go back to their note-taking and let Mr. Prongs go back to his. He promised Mr. Moony to pass along what happened in class and Mr. Prongs is a man of his word.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks that Mr. Prongs' note-taking parchment is looking a little… blank._**

Mr. Prongs maintains that nothing important has yet been said in this class.

_Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Moony would disagree._

**_Mr. Padfoot can add two and two._**

Mr. Prongs congratulates Mr. Padfoot for his extraordinary mathematical skills.

**_Mr. Padfoot chooses to ignore Mr. Prongs' rude comment and wishes to inquire why exactly Mr. Prongs is so eager to return to his notes if he has not yet in fact made any._**

_Mr. Wormtail is curious too._

Mr. Prongs doesn't want to miss anything that might be important.

**_What? Like the fact that Miss Evans' hair just turned purple?_**

[Prongs' head whips around to look at Evans' hair.]

**_Mr. Padfoot finds Mr. Prongs' definition of "important" interesting._**

Mr. Prongs wishes that Mr. Padfoot would tell the truth and quit making a fool of him in class.

**_Mr. Padfoot denies all charges._**

Mr. Prongs wishes Mr. Moony was here to take good notes.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders when the professors will notice that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs only_ _know information that is not taught at the full moon._

**_Mr. Padfoot is horrified by Mr. Wormtail's blunt words regarding Mr. Moony._**

Mr. Prongs is glad Mr. Moony is not here to freak out at that comment.

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to remind Mr. Wormtail that Mr. Moony's furry little problem is not to be_** **_mentioned directly in company._**

_Mr. Wormtail was under the impression that this parchment is private._

**_Mr. Padfoot knows that. But it's not invisible. Therefore we owe our friend and comrade our silence._**

_Mr. Wormtail offers his apologies._

Mr. Prongs graciously accepts those apologies on both his and Mr. Padfoot's behalf.

**_Mr. Padfoot does not appreciate apology thievery._**

_Mr. Wormtail would also like to point out to Mr. Prongs that taking notes for Mr. Moony in this_ _class is pointless._

Mr. Prongs wonders why this is.

_Prongs, this is Muggle Studies. Moony is a half-blood. His mother is a muggle. Moony knows_ _everything he needs to know about muggles._

Oh.

**_Yeah. Nice going Prongs._**

Mr. Prongs is seriously rethinking this whole note-taking idea.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks that is an excellent idea. He's missing his partner in inattentiveness. _**

Mr. Prongs has a further question: why is Lily taking this class? She's muggle-born, isn't she?

**_Mr. Padfoot offers a simple explanation: it's Evans. Like our own dear Moony, she takes_** **_everything._**

Right.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if this is the first time this has occurred to Mr. Prongs._

Mr. Prongs cannot remember wondering about it before.

**_Really Prongs? You've only been obsessing over her for five years. And been in this class with her for four of them._**

_Mr. Wormtail echoes Mr. Padfoot's remarks: seriously?!_

**_No, not Siriusly. Jamesily. I'm Sirius. He's James._**

That joke got old in first year, Padfoot.

**_I know. That's why it amuses me so much._**

_Mr. Wormtail is rather disgusted by Mr. Padfoot's sense of humor._

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Wormtail sounds like Mr. Moony. Are you sure you don't have him hiding under your cloak or something Wormy?

_Don't be ridiculous, Pro—_

**_EUREKA!_**

What is it now, Padfoot?

**_Mr. Padfoot has made a rather brilliant discovery._**

Mr. Prongs wearily urges Mr. Padfoot to continue.

**_Mr. Padfoot has realized that "Jamesily" is a combination of Prongs and Evans' names._**

WE'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!

_Now look what you've done, Padfoot._

[Three minutes later.]

Mr. Prongs thinks that went well.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders when Mr. Prongs lost his mind._**

_Mr. Wormtail also doubts Mr. Prongs' sanity. You do realize that jumping up and proposing_ _marriage to her in the middle of class wasn't the best idea, don't you?_

Mr. Prongs concedes that it could have gone better. A simple "no" would have been better than a detention and getting a book thrown at his head. He had no idea that the Muggle Studies textbooks were so heavy.

_Mr. Wormtail would like to inquire if Mr. Prongs has actually looked at his Muggle Studies_ _textbook since he bought it before third year._

Mr. Prongs doesn't think he has.

_Mr. Wormtail suggests that Mr. Prongs not tell Mr. Moony that._

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Wormtail's assessment.

**_Mr. Padfoot has noticed that it is only a few minutes before the bell. Maybe we ought to pack up. Professor Burbage has finished talking._**

Mr. Prongs thinks this is an excellent idea. Certainly one of Mr. Padfoot's more brilliant ones.

_Mr. Wormtail begs Mr. Prongs to not try to talk to Miss Evans on the way out of class. He's_ _already infuriated her enough for one class period._

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees. Promise us you won't do anything stupid, Prongs. Like talk to Evans. Or follow her. Or as much as glance in her general direction. We really don't want you to have to join Mr. Moony in the hospital wing._**

Relax, guys. I'll just pretend Evans doesn't even exist.

**_Mr. Padfoot seriously doubts Mr. Prongs' ability to do this._**

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Please review. Even if it's just a couple words. Please?

~esin


	3. Flirting With Evans Again

**A/N:** Hello, and Happy Friday! This means another chapter! (Just ignore the exclamation points. I'm really happy today.)

So, thanks a ton to my reviewers: mockingjayofdestiny, 4everbookworm, boxcat, and forever in the shadows 16. You guys make my day. I send you all virtual cookies as thanks. It means a ton.

More thanks to everyone who added this story to favorites or alerts. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

So! Another chapter. Sorry, Wormtail's not in this one. Not sure why. I've had this chapter written for much longer than the others, so I'm not sure what I was thinking. But he comes back for the next one. That's enough rambling for now, I think.

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

~esin_  
_

* * *

Chapter Three: Flirting with Evans... Again

In Transfiguration…

Mr. Prongs wonders what would happen if he were to pass a note to Miss Evans.

**_Mr. Padfoot advises against this. She is not nearly as permissive a prefect as our Moony._**

**Mr. Moony thinks this would be verging on idiotic. (By the way, he's ignoring that comment, Padfoot.)**

Really? Some support here guys!

**_Mr. Padfoot has changed his mind. He wants nothing more that to scrape the remains of Mr. Prongs off the floor._**

Mr. Prongs greatly appreciates Mr. Padfoot's help.

**_You're welcome._**

If Mr. Prongs were to possibly pass a hypothetical note to Miss Evans, what might it say?

**_Mr. Padfoot has no interest in contributing to pointless notes. Especially because Miss Evans has a particular aversion to Mr. Padfoot's sense of humor._**

**Mr. Moony suggests that Mr. Prongs just tell her she's pretty and ask her out.**

No! It needs to be more creative than that.

**_Mr. Padfoot is surprised by Mr. Moony's maliciousness._**

Mr. Prongs seems to be missing something.

**_Mr. Moony means that Mr. Prongs should skip agonizing over wording and get to the good part._**

The good part?

**Mr. Padfoot means that part where you get hexed into oblivion, Prongs.**

Mr. Prongs is doubting his friends' love and loyalty…

**Mr. Moony apologizes for his earlier comments.**

**_Mr. Padfoot does NOT apologize and looks forward to the after effects of Mr. Prongs' note._**

Mr. Prongs thinks that you lot are extraordinarily unhelpful.

**_Mr. Padfoot tries hard._**

A few minutes later...

Mr. Prongs wants Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Moony to review his note:

_Dear Lily,_

_Will you go to Hogsmeade with me this week-end?_

_James_

**_Mr. Padfoot is skeptical. This note certainly isn't very original._**

**Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Padfoot for once.**

**_Thanks a lot Moony._**

**Anytime Padfoot.**

Mr. Prongs hopes that the simplicity and straightforwardness of this note will astound Miss Evans and appeal to her better nature.

**_Mr. Padfoot was under the impression that Miss Evans' better nature hates Mr. Prongs. Are there any recent developments that he is unaware of?_**

Mr. Prongs is offended that Mr. Padfoot thinks so of Miss Evans. Miss Evans loves Mr. Prongs.

**_She just doesn't know it yet?_**

Something like that.

**_You're crazy._**

Shut up Padfoot. Moony?

**What?**

Mr. Prongs wants Mr. Moony's _constructive_ advice.

**_Mr. Padfoot is offended because his advice has been rejected._**

**Mr. Moony will constrict his advice to: short and simple is as good as anything.**

Mr. Prongs is not sure what Mr. Moony means by that.

**_Mr. Moony means that all past evidence points to the fact that no matter what Mr. Prongs writes in his note, Miss Evans will be upset._**

You really think it will upset her?

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs should quit worrying and just send the note!_**

Mr. Prongs is highly suspicious of Mr. Padfoot's sense of urgency.

**_Just do it already!_**

Fine. Here it goes...

[About five minutes, a fight, and an assigned detention later...]

**_Mr. Padfoot found that display highly amusing._**

Mr. Prongs doesn't like Mr. Padfoot anymore.

**_Why not?_**

You're not the one with detention every night for a week!

**Mr. Moony would like to point out that this detention will only get longer if McGonagall catches you passing notes in her class.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't care._**

Mr. Prongs would be delighted if Mr. Padfoot would join him in detention.

**_Mr. Padfoot is surprised. He thought Mr. Prongs would have enjoyed time alone with Miss Evans._**

Mr. Prongs disagrees. One: She hates my guts. Two: Its detention, not a date!

**Mr. Moony thinks that maybe Mr. Prongs ought to leave Miss Evans alone for a while.**

What?!

[A few minutes later.]

**Mr. Moony would like to observe that mimed death scenes in response to a passed note never go over well with McGonagall.**

Shut up Moony.

**What? Cause you have a week of detention and you just lost 20 points for Gryffindor?**

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to now take time to look forward to his detention-free week next week. He plans to spend the time with his newest girlfriend._**

SHUT UP PADFOOT!

**Mr. Moony would like to know if this is still Amy or if Padfoot has a new girlfriend.**

**_Mr. Padfoot's girlfriend is Mandy Ellington. Ravenclaw, fifth year._**

**Mr. Moony is astonished by the rate at which Mr. Padfoot goes through girlfriends.**

**_What? They keep dumping me!_**

Mr. Prongs believes that this is because Mr. Padfoot's charm is only good at getting girls, not keeping them.

**_Mr. Padfoot's charm is good for everything and is improved by his dashing good looks._**

**Mr. Moony suggests that he might keep girls longer if he deflated his head.**

**_Mr. Padfoot's head is attractively large!_**

Mr. Prongs has the misfortune to have to deal with his delusional friends.

**_You mean Moony?_**

No, I mean you!

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! I love hearing from all of you! (Yes, you. I know you're there and not planning to review, but I'm hereby begging you to reconsider.) So, if you need a prompt, here's one: write either 1) something you liked or 2) something you didn't like or needs work or 3) a suggestion for what you'd like to see happen in later chapters! Or write all three things!

Love you all. ~esin


	4. Sirius' Hot Date Part I

**A/N:** Happy late Valentines Day people. February 15th agreed to be mine because I don't have one otherwise. So dear 15Feb, here's your Valentine's gift. 3

Thanks for the favorites and follows everyone. They make me so happy. Even more so to the few people who favorited/followed my profile as well. And special thanks to my reviewers: forever in the shadows 16, i am red john (sorry about redoing your username, but FFN wouldn't post it right), Beaulover, Guest, and 4everbookworm. Virtual heart-shaped chocolates to you all.

**pancakeatebatman**: I'm glad you love it. Thanks for your review, favorite, and follow. Wow:)

So this is the first chapter written recently. The rest has been written over the past like, six months, or so, and this is what I've written in the past couple weeks. Enjoy!

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

~esin

* * *

Chapter Four: Sirius' Hot Date Part I

In Transfiguration…

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to congratulate his fellow Messrs. and Marauders on an excellent prank Tuesday last._**

Mr. Prongs thanks Mr. Padfoot for his praise and returns the same. Without his expertise, surely such a glorious act of mischief and hilarity would not have taken place.

**_Mr. Padfoot blushes. Mr. Prongs is too kind._**

**Mr. Moony reminds his fellow miscreants that passing notes right under McGonagall's nose is a bad idea.**

**_Mr. Padfoot firmly believes that Minnie loves him and would not mind in the slightest._**

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot and would like to bring the singular nature of the parchment we are using to Mr. Moony's attention.

**Mr. Moony is aware of the concealment charms on this parchment. He cast them himself.**

Then Mr. Prongs is puzzled as to how exactly Mr. Moony thinks Minnie will catch us writing notes.

_Mr. Wormtail would like to clarify Mr. Moony's point: McGonagall sees __everything__._

**Mr. Moony would also like to point out that note passing is the reason that Mr. Prongs and Mr.** **Padfoot are now the only sixth years with assigned seats. Seats on opposite ends of the front row.**

[A large scribble on the parchment in Prongs' pen.]

The difficulties of human transfiguration—

**_Mr. Padfoot is confused by Mr. Prongs' sudden change in topic._**

Mr. Prongs is now relieved that Minnie didn't see that.

**Mr. Moony says "I told you so".**

[Five minutes later.]

Mr. Prongs is open to accepting offers to join him in detention next Monday.

**_Mr. Padfoot would join Mr. Prongs, but his Monday night is already reserved for… other_** **_activities._**

**Mr. Moony hopes these "activities" don't involve being out after curfew. He has prefect duty that night and Mr. Padfoot has used up all his freebies.**

_Mr. Wormtail is amused by the word "freebie"._

**_You would be, Wormy._**

Mr. Prongs wishes to know what sorts of activities are more important that helping his good-as-brother survive a detention with an irate Minnie.

**Mr. Moony would like to answer this with succinct bluntness: Padfoot has a hot date.**

Mr. Prongs is offended that Mr. Padfoot is abandoning him for some girl.

**_Mr. Padfoot defends himself with the explanation that this is not just any girl._**

Padfoot, if you bewitched Evans to go out with you, I swear I will punch your face in—

**_Relax, Prongs. I would never do that. Evans is off limits for everyone but you. _**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to remind Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs that they're breaking the rules._

**_Mr. Padfoot offers his apologies to Mr. Wormtail. He and Mr. Prongs were having a moment there._**

**And this is where Mr. Moony is glad McGonagall insists that the two of you sit on opposite sides of the room.**

**_Ewwww Moony! What are you suggesting?_**

**Mr. Moony wasn't suggesting anything. It is no fault of his if Mr. Padfoot has a dirty mind.**

Yeah, mind out of the gutter, Padfoot. We still don't know who your hot date is.

**_Shut up, Prongs._**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to remind his fellow Marauders—_

**_Shut up, Wormtail!_**

**Mr. Moony is amused by Mr. Padfoot's high level of sensitivity to this matter. Are you going to tell them or should I?**

Mr. Prongs is further offended that Mr. Moony knows the identity of Mr. Padfoot's hot date before he does.

**_Mr. Padfoot again has an explanation: Mr. Moony only knows because he walked in on us last time._**

**Yes, and I think I'm scarred for life.**

Mr. Prongs thinks this means Mr. Moony needs a girlfriend.

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees._**

**Mr. Moony would like to point out that of the four of us, Mr. Padfoot is the only one who isn't** **single. And if his track record is anything to go by, he too will be single by the end of next week.**

**_My "track record"?!_**

**Yes, Padfoot, your track record.**

**_What do you mean? I don't have a track record._**

**You don't? Let me prove it to you.**

**_I'd like to see you try._**

**Alright then. Two questions. One: how many girls have you dated? Or just snogged.**

**_Um…_**

Mr. Prongs doesn't want to know the answer to that question.

**Okay. Two: what is the long you've been able to keep a girlfriend?**

**_I dunno… There must have been someone…_**

_Mr. Wormtail recalls that Mr. Padfoot dated Kelly Morgan for three weeks in fourth year before_ _she dumped him for the Ravenclaw Keeper._

Mr. Prongs is amazed and rather horrified that Mr. Wormtail keeps track of Mr. Padfoot's dating history.

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't keep track. He only remembers because Miss Morgan has hated all the_ _Marauders ever since._

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders why Miss Morgan's hatred for us is different than, say, Miss Evans' for example._**

**Mr. Moony speculates that the situation with Miss Morgan is not all that different from the one with Miss Evans. It just involves a different member of our esteemed company.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what Mr. Moony means by that—OH!

**_Bit slow there, Prongs?_**

**Mr. Moony believes that Mr. Prongs' "slowness" is due to the fact that Miss Evans just passed by his desk.**

As fascinating as Kelly Morgan's opinion of us must be, Mr. Prongs would like to return to the original topic of conversation.

_Mr. Wormtail can't remember what the original topic of conversation was._

**Mr. Moony believes that Mr. Padfoot was about to tell everyone who his hot date is.**

**_Mr. Padfoot had thought he had managed to get out of that._**

In your dreams, Padfoot.

**_Yes, Prongs. She's in my dreams. Vividly._**

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot to stop now before he says something to scar Mr. Moony for life yet again.**

**_Mr. Padfoot would never—_**

**Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Padfoot of the other night and what he found while** **patrolling the fourth floor…**

**_Yes! There's the bell! Lunchtime!_**

You will tell us Padfoot!

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys like the chapter! Please leave a review!

Oh, and I'm not sure if I should move it up to K+ (or even T) rating. I'm going to switch it to K+ today to be safe, but if you think I can switch it back, please tell me. :D

Love and hugs!

~esin


	5. Sirius' Hot Date Part II

**A/N: **And here is the much-anticipated second part of "Sirius' Hot Date". Really, I'm glad you guys liked it so much. It was a really hard chapter for me to write though, so the end is a little weird. Hopefully you'll like it (and the identity of Sirius' hot date!). There aren't too many more chapters before I'll move on to summer and 7th year. If there's anything else you'd like to happen before then, please just say so! I'm always open to suggestions.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited. You guys are the best. And a shout-out to my reviewers: _4everbookworm, i am red john , pancakeatebatman, Catheline, Meemee, HappilyBlue, _and _The Demigod Gryffindor._ You all get virtual Rolos this week because I'm eating some right now and they're delicious.

**pancakeatebatman**: Thanks and I'm relplying here because I can't PM you to do so! Glad you like it.

**Meemee**: Wow, a compliment of the highest degree. Thanks so much. And you'll find out this chapter!

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

~esin

* * *

Chapter Five: Sirius' Hot Date Part II

A few minutes later…

Mr. Prongs would like to once more ask nicely who Mr. Padfoot's hot date is. This is the last time he will ask nicely.

**Mr. Moony thinks it's ridiculous that Mr. Prongs is passing notes at lunch. We're even all sitting right next to each other.**

**_Be quiet, Moony. This is cool._**

**Mr. Moony doubts that. He doesn't think Mr. Padfoot even knows anything about cool. **

**_Mr. Padfoot is offended. Of course he knows what's cool._**

In case Mr. Moony has forgotten, Mr. Prongs would like to remind him that he and Mr. Padfoot are generally considered both the coolest and most attractive blokes in the school.

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to add that at Hogwarts, he doesn't need to know anything about cool because he defines "cool"._**

**Mr. Moony gives up.**

Mr. Prongs is annoyed that Mr. Padfoot has blatantly ignored his question.

**_Mr. Padfoot has put Mr. Prongs' question on hold for an indefinite period of time._**

Mr. Moony is tired of this. Just tell him.

**_Mr. Padfoot is rather scared by the level of interest Mr. Prongs is showing in this matter. Sure you're not a girl, Prongs?_**

Mr. Prongs is very sure.

**_Then Mr. Padfoot wonders why you are so inquisitive._**

Mr. Prongs only wants to know so he can… arrange a deal with her.

**_Mr. Padfoot is warning Mr. Prongs. If he so much as lays one finger on her…_**

Mr. Prongs has much too much honor to even think of hurting an innocent girl. He just wants to make a couple of things clear to her.

**_Mr. Padfoot is now even less willing to tell Mr. Prongs her name._**

**Mr. Moony is surprised that Mr. Prongs has not yet noticed who this newest girl is. You'd have to be blind not to see it.**

_Mr. Wormtail has just realized who Mr. Padfoot is dating. Now Mr. Prongs is the only one who doesn't know. Sorry, Prongs._

Mr. Prongs really has no idea. He offers the excuse that Miss Evans is too distracting to allow thought of any other girl.

_Mr. Wormtail sees this as a valid excuse. Mr. Prongs finds Miss Evans very distracting indeed._ _Remember last week? That door was just a little bit too solid for him._

Shut up, Wormtail. You too Padfoot.

**_I didn't even say anything yet!_**

Mr. Prongs wonders why Mr. Padfoot is so unwilling to tell him her name. It's not like she's going to be around for very long.

**_Mr. Padfoot believes that this one is different than the others. She's not going anywhere._**

**Mr. Moony is highly skeptical. He doubts Mr. Padfoot's ability to maintain a long-term** **relationship.**

Mr. Prongs is willing to have faith in his dear friend Mr. Padfoot. He is willing to bet Mr. Moony five sickles that they'll last more than three weeks.

**Mr. Moony finds this deal reasonable. He accepts. **

Mr. Prongs again begs Mr. Padfoot to tell him who his girl is.

**_Mr. Padfoot is still worried for his girl's safety once Mr. Prongs finds out her identity._**

_Mr. Wormtail is really shocked that Mr. Prongs hasn't figured it out yet._

Mr. Prongs will promise to not harm Mr. Padfoot's girlfriend if he'll tell him.

**Mr. Moony really thinks this is a reasonable offer. He urges Mr. Padfoot to accept the offer. But still, he wishes Mr. Prongs to consider carefully if he really wants to know.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony is being silly. Of course he wants to know.

**_Mr. Padfoot reluctantly agrees to Mr. Prongs' offer. But you have to promise first, Prongs. I'm not stupid._**

**Mr. Moony will not comment on that last sentence.**

**_Mr. Padfoot resents that._**

**He should. But it doesn't change Mr. Moony's opinion.**

I, James Potter, do hereby swear not to lay a finger—or my wand—on Mr. Padfoot's hot date. Marauder's Honor.

_Mr. Wormtail bears witness to this oath._

**Mr. Moony also bears witness. This oath is binding on the honor of a Marauder. Breaking it will bring down all afore-stated consequences and punishments, to be adjusted at the** **arbitrary discretion of the other Marauders.**

Mr. Prongs thanks Mr. Moony for bothering to actually remember that post-oath speech. He's surprised anyone did.

_Mr. Wormtail is equally amazed at Mr. Moony's memory._

All right, Padfoot. Spill.

**_Mr. Padfoot's hot date is…_**

_Mr. Wormtail adds a written drum roll for effect._

**_Don't be a dork Wormtail. You're interrupting my announcement._**

_Sorry._

**_Ahem. Mr. Padfoot's hot date is Miss Marlene McKinnon._**

WHAT?! NO!

**Mr. Moony knew this would happen.**

**_Mr. Padfoot does not understand Mr. Prongs' reaction. He thought Mr. Prongs was infatuated with Miss Evans, not Miss McKinnon._**

Mr. Prongs assures Mr. Padfoot that he has no interest in Miss McKinnon. At the moment, he is very upset with Mr. Moony.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why that fact that Miss McKinnon is dating __Mr. Padfoot __makes Mr. Prongs_ _upset with __Mr. Moony__._

**Mr. Moony believes this is because Mr. Prongs now owes him twenty galleons.**

Mr. Prongs wants to call off the bet.

**Sorry Prongs, you can't do that. It's already happened. Pay up.**

Mr. Prongs resignedly promises to pay Mr. Moony as soon as we get up to the dorm again. All his money is up there.

**_Mr. Padfoot is torn between amusement and offense that Mr. Prongs and Mr. Moony made bets on him._**

_Mr. Wormtail inquires as to the exact nature of this bet._

**Mr. Prongs and I had a bet that Mr. Padfoot would date Miss McKinnon by the end of sixth year. Prongs thought you wouldn't be able to get her until seventh year.**

Truly, Mr. Prongs is surprised that Mr. Padfoot has decided to get a real girlfriend. He thought the maturity for that would take another couple months at least.

**Mr. Moony still believes that Mr. Padfoot does not have the maturity for a "real" girlfriend. Miss McKinnon just has way too much faith in her new boyfriend.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is very offended._**

Mr. Prongs doesn't care. He lost the bet. But he still must say something to Mr. Padfoot.

**_What?_**

I've been friends with Marlene for a long time, Padfoot, since we were children. I also know that she doesn't have any brothers. Therefore, if you hurt her, best friend or not, brother or not, I will punch your face in. Got that?

**_Mr. Padfoot gets it. Loud and clear._**

Good. Oh, and Padfoot?

**_Yeah?_**

Congratulations. Miss McKinnon is a good catch.

**_Mr. Padfoot thanks Mr. Prongs. He knows this and doesn't plan on letting her go anywhere._**

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it, but if you'd review and let me know, that would be great! :D

As always, please give me: 1) things you liked, 2) things you didn't like (aka constructive criticism, especially on writing style!), 3) suggestions for future chapters, 4) random hellos or comments. Please? Thanks!

Until next week all!

~esin


	6. I Know Something You Don't Know

**A/N:** Hello again and happy March everyone! And the next chapter is here!

General Announcement: Next Tuesday (5 March), I will be posting a new one-shot in honor of my birthday. It's Lily/James and kinda fluffy, but I like it. So keep an eye out for that. It will be called "They Can't Take That Away From Me" and is based off the Fred Astaire song of the same name.

Let's see... this week my reviewers get some mocha-toffee cupcakes. (I don't know if those are actually a thing. I kinda just made them up. But they sound delicious.) And those lucky reviewers are: _The Demigod Gryffindor, 4everbookworm, i am red john, Little Tulip, FestusTheFlyingMattress, sashar360, GinnyHarryLuv, Hazel, _and_ Meemee_. You guys are awesome. Also thanks to followers and favorite-ers (I'm just making up all kinds of things today, aren't I?)

**GinnyHarryLuv**: Thanks for the review. And I'm hurrying as fast as I can. I don't want to go too fast though. This sort of humor can't be forced much.

**Hazel**: I love you too. And I like that name-combine-thingy. Haven't seen it before, but it really works! Thanks. :D

**Meemee**: You're welcome for everything. I was that person for a long time too. And you truly are amazing if you comment on _everything_. I'm not even quite that good. :) I'll keep responding as long as you keep reviewing, deal?

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

~esin

* * *

Chapter Six: I Know Something You Don't Know

In Defense Against the Dark Arts…

**It is days like this that Mr. Moony misses Professor Eberhardt.**

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony. Anyone is better than this old bat.

**_Mr. Padfoot is surprised that Mr. Moony didn't anticipate Eberhardt leaving at the end of last year._**

**Mr. Moony wonders why this is.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is pleased with himself. He knows something Mr. Moony doesn't._**

**Mr. Moony is rolling his eyes. Just tell us, Padfoot.**

**_No, really. Mr. Padfoot needs to savor this moment. Times like this don't come very often._**

**Padfoot, quit. Just tell us already.**

**_Fine. It's the DADA teacher curse._**

**Mr. Moony has no idea what sort of nonsense Mr. Padfoot is spouting off.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is not "spouting nonsense". He is referring to a well-known phenomenon._**

_Mr. Wormtail is impressed by Mr. Padfoot's use of large words._

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot to get to the point.**

**_If you hadn't noticed, Moony, we've had a running total of six Defense Against the Dark Arts professors during our time here at Hogwarts—one for each year._**

**Mr. Moony wonders how this is relevant.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony just needs to be quiet long enough for Mr. Padfoot to finish.

**_Mr. Padfoot is one of the many students who see this as a sign of the terrible curse on the DADA position._**

**Mr. Moony is in a good mood this morning and decides to humor Mr. Padfoot. What exactly is the nature of this curse?**

Mr. Prongs is amazed by Mr. Moony's ignorance on this subject.

**So you know about it too?**

Of course.

**_Mr. Padfoot gently silences his friends so he can explain. The curse upon this position of_** **_professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at this illustrious Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry—_**

**Padfoot! Cut the pomp!**

**_What? I'm only imitating you when you start going off on something smart, Moony!_**

**Why you—**

Mr. Prongs would like to remind Mr. Moony that attacking bewitched parchment will not cause any damage upon Mr. Padfoot's person. It will only make Mr. Moony look dorky.

_Dorkier than usual, that is._

**Great. Now you've got Wormtail along with you, too. What is this? National Beat Up On Moony Day?**

**_No. Mr. Padfoot regrets to inform Mr. Moony that he has missed National Beat Up On Moony Day. It was two weeks ago._**

**Mr. Moony wonders what Mr. Padfoot means.**

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to offer yet another definition: "National Beat Up On Moony Day", otherwise known as the day after the full moon, is marked by Mr. Moony attempting to convince himself that his furry little problem makes him a monster unworthy of life or our friendship. This, of course, is complete nonsense._**

Mr. Prongs finds the "just swallowed a dictionary" voice strange on anyone who is not Mr. Moony. Especially Mr. Padfoot.

**Mr. Moony isn't sure the more Marauder side of him likes how this description portrays him as a dusty old** **bookworm.**

_Mr. Wormtail knows Mr. Moony only thinks this because it's a new moon tonight._

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Wormtail has a point. Mr. Moony is always more reckless when he has more energy.

**Mr. Moony wishes this lesson would just be over already.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is shocked. He thought Mr. Moony liked Defense Against the Dark Arts._**

**Mr. Moony only likes DADA when it is taught by a competent professor. Like Professor** **Eberhardt.**

**_Ex-Professor Eberhardt._**

**Thanks for reminding me.**

Mr. Prongs feels complete because this conversation has come full circle.

**_Mr. Padfoot rolls his eyes at Mr. Prongs' ridiculousness._**

**This discussion has not made Mr. Moony feel any better about this idiotic ignoramus who calls himself our "professor". One would think he'd realize he's teaching a class of sixth years, not third years.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't mind. Third year work is now easy and therefore doesn't take much of Mr. Padfoot's effort to complete._**

**Mr. Moony of course knows all the wonderful things Mr. Padfoot actually puts effort into.**

**_That you do, Moony._**

**Padfoot, that smirk is disturbing. Put it away before I hex you.**

Mr. Prongs agrees. Mr. Padfoot's smirks make him very, very scared.

_Mr. Wormtail is glad that he sits behind Mr. Padfoot and cannot—oh. No, I didn't want to see_ _that either._

**_Mr. Padfoot is rather proud of his own ability to "postpone" schoolwork. After all, what's the point in slaving over schoolwork when there are so many better things he could be doing with his time?_**

Mr. Prongs echoes and agrees with Mr. Padfoot's sentiments. Partially.

**Mr. Moony agrees that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs likely have different definitions of "better things to do".**

_Mr. Wormtail seconds this opinion. Mr. Padfoot likes to snog random girls and Mr. Prongs likes_ _to stalk Lily Evans._

**Mr. Moony wasn't going to phrase it quite like that, but yes, Mr. Wormtail has the basic idea.**

Mr. Prongs objects. He does not stalk Miss Evans.

**_Mr. Padfoot believes Mr. Prongs is both delusional and, well, rather blind in this area._**

**Mr. Moony questions whether Mr. Prongs actually knows the meaning of the term "stalk".**

Mr. Prongs knows what stalking is. It's creepy and he doesn't do it. Not to Miss Evans. Not to anyone.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks it would be awfully rude to dear Lily-flower if Mr. Prongs were to stalk_** **_another girl behind her back. He doesn't think she would appreciate a non-exclusive_** **_relationship._**

We don't have a relationship. That's the point, Padfoot.

**Mr. Moony would like to point out to Mr. Prongs that following her around under the Cloak and** **watching her on the Map for hours on end counts as stalking.**

I'm not stalking her! I'm making sure she's okay.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what danger Miss Evans might be in that she can't get out of on her own._ _After all, this is Hogwarts._

**Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Wormtail. Miss Evans is also not the sort of girl who would take kindly to being rescued—especially if it was Mr. Prongs who decided to play knight in shining armor.**

Mr. Prongs has had enough of this conversation. He's not stalking Miss Evans. End of discussion.

**Mr. Moony wonders if he needs to ask Miss Evans if she would consider this stalking.**

Mr. Prongs would rather that Mr. Moony not. He doesn't know if he would survive the subsequent encounter intact.

**Exactly.**

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! I hate to be a pain, but I actually get more reviews when I beg a bit. So here I am! I'm grovelling for reviews! I'll respond to them! **  
**

Also, did anyone pick up the Princess Bride reference (hint: it's in the chapter title)?

See you all next week (or on Tuesday if you check out my one-shot!). :D

~esin


	7. S Snape and the 349th Biweekly Meeting

**A/N: **Lovely, another chapter! This one's a bit silly and action-filled. But aren't they all silly? Enjoy!

Thanks to everyone who's favorited or followed. And extra special thanks and homemade cheesecake to my reviewers: _Little Tulip, Catheline, boxcat, Meemee, 4everbookworm, The Imaginatrix, Josiah,_ and two unnamed guests. You guys are awesome. Also more thanks to the people who read and reviewed my one-shot, "They Can't Take That Away From Me": _bonniebonbon, Little Tulip,_ and one unnamed Guest. You guys can share the cheesecake.

**Meemee**: Awww. You're awesome. To save you the trouble, I'm going to update mostly on Fridays after 3:00 (when I get home from school) unless I say otherwise. But it means a lot that you're so excited for updates!

**Guest1**: You're snarky. Thanks. Not entirely what I was looking for, but whatev. Thanks anyway :)

**Guest2**: I have every intention of continuing to update. I'm glad you love it and thanks for the review.

**4everbookworm**: I doubt your laziness. You just wanted a shout out here :D

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

~esin

* * *

Chapter Seven: Severus Snape and the 349th Biweekly Meeting

In Potions...

**_Mr. Padfoot now calls to order the 349_****_th_****_ biweekly meeting of the Marauders. All Messrs present, please say "aye". Aye._**

Aye.

_Aye._

**Mr. Moony wonders why we're having this meeting in the middle of ****Potions**** of all places.**

**_Mr. Padfoot recognizes Mr. Prongs and Mr. Wormtail._**

**Mr. Moony wishes to be recognized.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is irked by a small buzzing in his "ear". He hopes said buzzing (cough—Mr. Moony) will go away if he tells it that Messrs can only be recognized if they have said "aye"._**

**Fine. Aye.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is pleased to report full attendance at this illustrious meeting._**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to echo Mr. Moony's query about the location of this meeting. _

**_Mr. Padfoot had thought that would be obvious._**

Obviously not.

**_Quiet Prongs. We're meeting here for security reasons. If we meet in the same place all the time, someone will find us._**

**Mr. Moony wonders who is looking.**

Mr. Prongs begs Mr. Moony not to be silly. Hogwarts is full of pranksters just dying to know our secrets.

**Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs that no one else can get into the** **Gryffindor boys' dormitory.**

Mr. Prongs objects. This is not true. Any Gryffindor can get into our dorm. Nothing is private.

**Well, Potions class is certainly less private than our dorm.**

Mr. Prongs wonders if there is actually a purpose to this meeting.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if there is actually a purpose to any of our meetings._

Mr. Prongs thinks that now it is Mr. Wormtail who is being silly. All of our meetings have good outcomes.

**_Yes! None of our great works of mischief would have happened without our meetings._**

**Mr. Moony would like to remind everyone that we rarely start meetings with the objective of planning a prank. Such things usually happen because we have nothing else to discuss.**

Except for Moony's desperate need for a girlfriend.

**Shut up.**

**_To answer Mr. Prongs' question, Mr. Padfoot called this meeting to order now so that he doesn't have to hold it tonight in the dorm._**

Going to meet Marlene?

**_Yeah._**

**Mr. Moony is surprised Mr. Padfoot and Miss McKinnon are still together.**

**_Mr. Padfoot resents that._**

Mr. Prongs is a bit worried that this meeting is too public.

**_Mr. Padfoot points out that everyone else is busy with their work and paying no attention to us._**

_Mr. Wormtail has found an exception to this: Mr. Greasy-in-the-Back is staring at us again._

**Mr. Moony begs his friend not to do anything stupid to Mr. Snape.**

**_Mr. Padfoot promises not to do anything stupid. Funny? Yes. Stupid? No._**

Mr. Moony is skeptical. Most things Mr. Padfoot does to be funny don't end well. He is nervous about collateral damage on innocent bystanders.

**_Then Mr. Moony has nothing to worry about for he is neither innocent nor a bystander._**

**Mr. Moony resents that.**

Mr. Prongs suggests that they distract Snivellus from watching them.

**_Mr. Prongs has read Mr. Padfoot's mind._**

**Mr. Moony refuses to take part in torturing Mr. Snape.**

**_Snivellus, Moony._**

**Mr. Moony is a prefect. He will not take part in childish name-calling nor the torturing of** **another student.**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Moony doesn't just stop Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs._

**Mr. Moony has tried that method in the past. It doesn't work. Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are law unto themselves.**

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Moony's assessment. Mischief stops for no man._**

**Mr. Moony is appalled by Mr. Padfoot's slaughter of a perfectly good quote.**

Mr. Prongs recognizes that this argument is going nowhere. If we don't get started, the bell will ring before Snivellus even notices what we've done to him.

**_Mr. Padfoot relents. Mr. Prongs is correct._**

Mr. Prongs has an idea.

_Mr. Wormtail wishes Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs would share with the group instead of_ _whispering amongst themselves._

**Yes. Mr. Moony would like to know whether or not he should take cover while he still can.**

Mr. Prongs sees no reason for anyone to take cover.

**Except Mr. Snape.**

Not even him.

**Oh?**

**_Mr. Padfoot accepts Mr. Prongs' brill idea._**

_Mr. Wormtail wishes they would get on with actually telling him the plan._

Mr. Prongs suggests that we use a simple Color Change Charm on dear old Snivellus' potion a few seconds after he adds an ingredient.

**Mr. Moony suspects unforeseen consequences to this.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is confident. Snivellus won't suspect anything._**

**Mr. Moony just wishes for Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs to be careful and cautious. Remember, Potions is Mr. Snape's best subject.**

_Mr. Wormtail also begs Mr. Moony to stop being such a worrywart._

[Five minutes later.]

Mr. Prongs thinks that was brilliant. Did you see his face?

**_Mr. Padfoot is grateful for his superior acting skills. He wants to be dying of laughter on the floor right now instead of standing serenely next to his cauldron._**

**Mr. Moony maintains that that stunt was cruel.**

_Mr. Wormtail congratulates Mr. Prongs and Mr. Padfoot on another success._

[On his way past, Snape runs into James, almost knocking him over.]

**_Mr. Padfoot is amused by Mr. Snape's clumsiness._**

Mr. Prongs is not so amused. Now he's all covered in Snivellus grease.

**Mr. Moony has… ah, forgotten to get enough… um, toad liver.**

[Remus hurries across the room to the supply cabinet.]

_Mr. Wormtail is confused. Mr. Moony just went to get more toad liver five minutes ago. We have_ _more than enough sitting right here._

[James' cauldron explodes, covering James, Sirius, and Peter in unfinished Hair Raising Potion. Professor Slughorn assigns James an essay and everyone else goes back to work.]

Mr. Prongs is quite cross with Mr. Moony.

**What?**

**_NOOOOOOO! MY HAIR!_**

**Mr. Moony is amused by the effects of Mr. Prongs' half-finished potion on him and Mr. Padfoot.**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Padfoot is only improved with bleach-blond hair._

**_Mr. Padfoot is horrified. What will he tell Marlene? Will she even still love him without his silky black locks?_**

**Just think, Padfoot. Now you'll fit in perfectly with your dear cousin Narcissa. You too Prongs.**

_Mr. Wormtail is glad his hair was already blond. _

**_Shut up Wormtail. This is tragic._**

Mr. Prongs sends accusatory glares in Mr. Moony's general direction.

**Mr. Moony wonders why Mr. Prongs is cross with him.**

You knew that was going to happen.

**What?**

You knew the cauldron was about to explode. That's why you came up with some lame excuse to go get more toad liver when you have enough right here.

**Mr. Moony pleads the right to remain silent.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is puzzled as to why Mr. Prongs' potion exploded at all. Mr. Prongs is usually very good at Potions._**

Yes, Mr. Prongs also wonders what happened. What do you think Moony? You're usually good at this sort of thing.

**_Yeah, Prongs is right. How did you know it was going to explode, Moony?_**

**Ginger petals.**

What?

**When Snape bumped into Prongs, he was only doing that to cover it up. He dropped a handful of ginger petals into Prongs' cauldron. The python venom we were using earlier** **reacts violently with the petals if not countered by the toad liver. He must have known you hadn't added that yet, Prongs.**

**_Snivellus! That greasy snake!_**

_We've always known Snivellus was brilliant at Potions._

**And you can't say I didn't warn you.**

**_Mr. Padfoot believes there is only one way to deal with this: revenge._**

**And here we go again.**

* * *

**A/N:** Longest chapter yet! But I hope you liked it! Please review :D I love both good comments and constructive criticism!

Until next week! Love and hugses :)

~esin


	8. Going Out With a Bang

**A/N:** Hello again everyone! Here's another chapter. We're approaching the end of sixth year. Don't worry, I'm going to write some summer stuff and then we're on to seventh year! Also, I had the strangest dream last night. Somehow I had overslept and missed all of Friday and Saturday and then I realized I hadn't updated because I had been sleeping. Then all my readers were mad at me and tried to kill me... You guys love me more than that. Don't you? (Scared smile, backing away slowly...)

Thanks to my reviewers: _4everbookworm, Little Tulip, Catheline,_ and _The Ima__ginatrix_. Thanks to you loyal four! You guys get cherry and whipped cream dessert. (It's awesome: graham cracker crumb crust with homemade whipped cream on top and then cherry pie filling all over that. Trust me, it's heavenly.)

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

~esin

* * *

Chapter Eight: Going Out With a Bang

In Muggle Studies…

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if we have any plans for the End of Term Feast. It's only a couple weeks_ _away now._

**_Mr. Padfoot thought our plans would be obvious: we're going to go to the feast and eat food until we can eat no more._**

**Mr. Moony would like to forewarn Mr. Padfoot of the dire consequences he will face if he once again gorges himself and then pukes all over the dorm room. Mr. Moony set up some clever curses preventing this ****last**** time.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what "dire consequences" Mr. Moony is referring to and if he should be scared.

**Mr. Prongs shouldn't have anything to worry about as long as he doesn't overeat and proceed to puke everywhere.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is scared._**

**He should be.**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to clarify: he was inquiring about whether we have a prank planned to_ _finish off the year._

**_Oh._**

**Nice, Padfoot. Nice.**

Mr. Prongs is actually rather shocked we haven't started working on a prank yet. He thanks Mr. Wormtail for reminding us.

**_Mr. Padfoot blames N.E.W.T.s as the reason we haven't started yet. This year is much more difficult that he expected._**

**Mr. Moony wonders if this year would be easier for Mr. Padfoot if he actually paid attention in classes instead of passing notes and doodling inappropriate things in the** **margins of his textbooks.**

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders how Mr. Moony knows about those._**

**Padfoot, I sit right next to you in most classes.**

**_Mr. Padfoot wishes he sat next to Mr. Prongs. Mr. Prongs would doodle with him._**

_Mr. Wormtail wishes to remind Mr. Padfoot that Mr. Prongs' margins are filled with drawings of_ _lilies. Or at least, what are supposed to be lilies._

Mr. Prongs is rather proud of his doodles. He does miss his art partner though. PADFOOT COME BACK TO ME!

**Hence the reason that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are not allowed to sit close together in most of our classes. The Professors aren't stupid.**

**_Mr. Padfoot considers this ruling totally unfair._**

**Mr. Moony isn't sure if he should be offended that Mr. Padfoot doesn't want to sit with him.**

**_He shouldn't be._**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to get back to the topic of pranks for the feast._

**_Right, pranks. So, what are we doing?_**

Mr. Prongs has a few ideas, but we'll have to move quickly.

**_Mr. Padfoot is interested._**

Mr. Prongs would like to wait until we're in official meeting to discuss his ideas. We wouldn't want to be overheard…

**Mr. Moony would like to remind his fellow Marauders of two things: first, the Feast will be shortly following a full moon, so he will not be at full capacity to help out.**

**_Mr. Padfoot realizes this is a good point. Mr. Moony will need to check over our plans_** **_thoroughly before he is ill. He has a good eye for forgotten details._**

**Mr. Moony's second point is that this is the end of sixth year.**

We know that, Moony.

**Patience is a virtue, Prongs.**

**_Yeah. "Good things come to those who wait" and all that. (a.k.a. good food takes longer to cook!)_**

Quiet Padfoot, Moony's trying to talk.

_Mr. Wormtail found Mr. Padfoot's comment amusing._

You too, Wormtail.

**Mr. Moony's second point is that next year—our last year—should have the biggest and the best. Therefore we can't outdo next year this year.**

Mr. Prongs believes Mr. Moony to be the epitome of wisdom and foresight.

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees and proposes that we have a meeting tonight at midnight in the passageway behind the mirror on the fourth floor._**

_Mr. Wormtail wishes to inquire upon the necessity of such a meeting. We're the only ones in our_ _dorm. There's no reason to risk a trek all the way down in the middle of the night just to_ _have a meeting in a cold, drafty passageway rather than our warm beds._

**Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Wormtail.**

**_Come on guys! Where's your sense of adventure?_**

**Mr. Moony's sense of adventure does not allow for unnecessary risks.**

**_Fine. Meeting tonight. Five minutes after midnight. Sixth year boys' dorm. Gryffindor tower. You guys are boring._**

**We try Padfoot.**

Mr. Prongs totally thinks the words "boring" and "creators of awesome pranks" can't be used to describe the same people.

**_Mr. Padfoot feels alone, unwanted, and adventurous._**

**Too bad, Padfoot. We're not leaving the dorm.**

**_You stink, Moony._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why we're having the meeting at five minutes after midnight and not at_ _midnight._

**_Mr. Padfoot would prefer not to say. Let's just leave it at this: Mr. Padfoot won't be able to return to the dorm by midnight._**

**Mr. Moony is worried. He's not sure he wants to know why this is.**

Mr. Prongs just asks Mr. Padfoot outright. We might as well know beforehand.

**_Mr. Padfoot has a prior engagement behind the aforementioned mirror on the fourth floor._**

**Mr. Moony wonders whether this prior engagement happens to involved Miss McKinnon.**

**_Mr. Padfoot admits that it does._**

Mr. Prongs is glad that we are not meeting in ridiculous places simply to satisfy Mr. Padfoot's laziness. You had better run back fast to be in the dorm in time for the meeting Padfoot or else we'll start without you.

**_What? You wouldn't wait for me?_**

**Nope.**

**_Now you stink even more, Moony._**

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading guys! I'd love reviews if you guys could take the time.

Also, I have a question for my British readers about something in the next chapter: So, I know that the word "pudding" general means "dessert" over there, but then, what do you call what Americans like me call "pudding"? I hope that question makes sense because the internet wasn't being very helpful. If anyone can help me sort that out, that would be lovely! Just PM me or leave a review.

One more general announcement: **I am not going to update next Friday**. I know, it's awful. I'm sad too. But I'm going to be out-of-town without access to my laptop or the internet from Thursday to Sunday and so I'm not going to update. However, I will work extra hard on the new chapter for two weeks from now. I'm really sorry about this and I'm going to try not to skip weeks, but there's nothing I can do. Feel free to (nicely) express your disappointment in me in a review. ;)

Love to you all and see you in two weeks!

~esin


	9. Silence in the Peanut Gallery

**A/N: **Wow. It's been two weeks. I missed all of you. Happy Easter and Good Friday early! The only sad thing is that my extended absence didn't get me any more reviews than usual. Oh well. **  
**

And thanks to the following amazing reviewers: _The Imaginatrix, 4everbookworm, i am red john, aTouchofGrace, Guest, Catheline, LeahLumos, Let us remember,_ and _Into The Vortex_. You get your choice of chocolate strata pie or coconut cream pie. And more thanks to those of you who helped with my questions regarding pudding. You were great help, even if I sounded frustrated when I was talking with you!

**Guest:** Thanks for the review and I'm glad you think so. I mean, that's what I'm trying for! And yes, it does help. :D

If I ever fail to respond to your review, please leave me an angry PM or review or something. I try to do all of them, but I don't want to miss anyone by accident. :)

Now, in my notes, I wrote that there was a Doctor Who reference somewhere in this chapter. But I just looked back and I can't find it. It's bugging me. So if you find it, leave a review or PM me or something!

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Nine: Silence in the Peanut Gallery (a.k.a. Exam Stress)

In Charms…

_**Mr. Padfoot once again begs for Mr. Moony's forgiveness.**_

**Mr. Moony has made his point several times. One would think Mr. Padfoot would have listened by now.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony is being over-sensitive.

_Mr. Wormtail has no idea what's going on._

_**Mr. Padfoot isn't sure what's happening either. But Mr. Moony seems to be mad at him, so he's apologizing profusely.**_

Mr. Prongs questions Mr. Padfoot's wisdom in saying that aloud. He doesn't think Mr. Moony will appreciate it.

**Mr. Moony certainly doesn't appreciate it. Mr. Padfoot knows exactly what he did.**

_**Mr. Padfoot insists that he has no idea.**_

_Mr. Wormtail has no idea either and really hates being out of the loop._

Mr. Prongs isn't sure what Mr. Padfoot did, but he doesn't think it could have been something bad enough to warrant this sort of reaction.

**Mr. Moony is upset because Mr. Padfoot has no respect for other people's study habits.**

_**Mr. Padfoot would like to know what that has to do with anything at all.**_

**Mr. Moony had thought he made it clear: he wishes to use the dorm room to study in the** **evenings.**

_**So…?**_

**Mr. Moony doesn't appreciate a lot of noise while he's trying to study.**

_**Oh. Mr. Padfoot doesn't remember making noise. But if there was some, he admits he was probably behind it.**_

Mr. Prongs has changed his opinion. Mr. Moony is perfectly justified in his anger at Mr. Padfoot.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Moony remembers that we're taking N.E.W.T.s next year, not this_ _year._

**Of course Mr. Moony knows that. But it doesn't make exams unimportant.**

Mr. Prongs would beg to differ…

_**Mr. Padfoot is still unsure what exactly he did to bother Mr. Moony so much.**_

**Mr. Moony doesn't believe that.**

Mr. Prongs is also unsure. Usually anything involving a great deal of noise in the dorm involves him as well as Mr. Padfoot. They usually are partners in obnoxious noise-making.

**Mr. Moony sincerely hopes Mr. Prongs is never involved in this particular sort of noise with Mr. Padfoot.**

_Mr. Wormtail finds that very disturbing._

Mr. Prongs doesn't understand—OH.

_**Mr. Padfoot is still in the dark. He really has no idea what he did.**_

Mr. Prongs speculates that Mr. Padfoot was rather distracted at the time. It is likely he never even noticed that Mr. Moony was there to be annoyed with him.

**Mr. Moony suggests that Mr. Padfoot remember last night in chronological order and maybe he will stumble upon his mistake.**

_**Mr. Padfoot isn't sure why—**_

Just do it, Padfoot.

_**Mr. Padfoot shall now recount all his activities of yesterday evening.**_

_Oh, joy. Mr. Wormtail is just ecstatic with anticipation._

Mr. Prongs is amazed. Mr. Wormtail just successfully used sarcasm.

**Mr. Moony is quickly growing weary of the commentaries and interruptions from the peanut gallery.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what a peanut gallery is.

**Mr. Moony's patience is thinning.**

_It's a muggle phrase. A peanut gallery is the spectators who make unwanted comments on the_ _actual conversation._

Oh. Mr. Prongs is happy to take his place as a member of this illustrious peanut gallery.

_**Mr. Padfoot salutes the peanut gallery before returning to his testimony.**_

_Mr. Wormtail finds purebloods amusing. They really just don't get it._

**Mr. Moony reminds Mr. Padfoot to get back on topic. He's waiting for Mr. Padfoot to finally realize what he did.**

_**So, last night began when Mr. Padfoot left Defense Against the Dark Arts. He went down to dinner in the company of these most excellent Marauders—**_

Why thank you. We are most excellent indeed.

**Silence in the peanut gallery.**

_**Following dinner—where he ate a great number of delicious things—**_

_Mr. Wormtail recalls that one chocolate pudding thing…_

_**The one with the brownies and pretzel pieces and whipped cream? Heavenly…**_

Mr. Prongs is getting hungry just thinking about it.

**We'll cover some with peanuts and send them up. Then maybe you two will be quiet.**

_**Following dinner, Mr. Padfoot played several games of Exploding Snap with Mr. Prongs before the two of them left for Quidditch practice.**_

Mr. Prongs maintains that making grass clods explode in his face during practice is not fair payback for beating you at Exploding Snap.

**Prongs…**

_**After Quidditch practice, Mr. Padfoot showered and returned to the castle. On his way up to Gryffindor tower, he met his lovely girlfriend, Miss Marlene McKinnon. They—**_

_Mr. Wormtail requests that Mr. Padfoot seriously censor this next part._

Mr. Prongs doesn't want to hear it either.

**Mr. Moony agrees. Padfoot, you were snogging. We get it. Please continue.**

_**Mr. Padfoot and Miss McKinnon eventually made their way up to Gryffindor tower. They sat with Mr. Prongs and Mr. Wormtail, but were soon asked to leave for no discernible reason.**_

_Mr. Wormtail apologizes that he doesn't wish to watch Mr. Padfoot snog Miss McKinnon while_ _he's trying to beat Mr. Prongs at chess._

**Mr. Moony asks Mr. Padfoot to continue.**

_**After he and his girlfriend were asked to leave, Mr. Padfoot took her up to—oh.**_

**Right. "Oh."**

_**Mr. Padfoot wonders why he didn't notice Mr. Moony was already in the dorm.**_

**Mr. Moony slipped out while Mr. Padfoot was distracted.**

Mr. Prongs now agrees: Mr. Moony is completely justified in his anger at Mr. Padfoot. No one likes to see you snog Marlene. It's rather revolting actually.

_**You wouldn't be saying that if it was you and Evans.**_

True.

_**Mr. Padfoot begs for Mr. Moony's forgiveness. He was caught up in—**_

We don't want to know what was going through your head at that moment, Padfoot.

_**Mr. Padfoot will make sure it doesn't happen again. At least, not until exams are over. Then Mr. Moony can stop stressing and being a dorm hermit.**_

**Mr. Moony is not amused by the description of "dorm hermit". Maybe Mr. Padfoot would benefit from studying some himself. He wouldn't want to be stuck in school an extra year after Miss McKinnon graduates without him.**

_Mr. Wormtail reminds Mr. Moony that Miss McKinnon is in fact a year behind us. So failing might actually be in Padfoot's better interest…_

**Not helpful, Wormtail.**

_**Mr. Padfoot offers his apologies in hopes that Mr. Moony will eventually forgive him.**_

**Mr. Moony will hold Mr. Padfoot to his promise of not doing this again. Now, he really must pay attention.**

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and please leave a review! Especially if you found the Doctor Who thingy.

Also, I am currently trying to write chapter 15, which is the first one in 7th year! It's exciting, but I'm also running out of chapter ideas. So if you have anything, _anything_ at all that you'd like to hear, please review! And the more specific the better! So please help out here. I'm open to pretty much anything.

And to anyone who's doing Camp NaNoWriMo in April, good luck! I'll be right there with you. I'm doing 30,000 words this month to finish up my original novel. (Don't worry readers, I have everything for this story written to last me through the month. Updates won't stop!)

~esin


	10. Aboard the Hogwarts Express Part I

**A/N:** And we're back for another week folks! (That was really cheesy. And awful. Don't let me do that again.) Happy April! We're reaching the end of sixth year here for our Marauders. :)

To _4everbookworm, aTouchofGrace, The Imaginatrix, _and _i am red john_, a million thank yous. I only got four reviews for chapter nine. The few and the faithful, you guys rock. Love you :) This week you get a piece of the cake I made for French class: chocolate with white frosting and Swedish fish on the top. Enjoy :)

For the rest of you: review? Maybe? I know you're out there... thanks also to the few follows and favorites I got this week. You guys rock too. You should review. You'd rock more if you review.

Bonus points to the person who find the _Les Misèrables_ reference in this chapter. (Hint: it's not very nice to Marlene. Oops. He doesn't mean it like that though!)

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Ten: Aboard the Hogwarts Express, Part I

On the train home…

**_Mr. Padfoot is sad. He missed his friends and fellow Marauders._**

Mr. Prongs shares Mr. Padfoot's sadness. Anything to not be stuck in this compartment with the stupid Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

_Mr. Wormtail isn't any happier. He got stuck with the sixth year Gryffindor girls. All of whom are studiously ignoring him._

**_Mr. Padfoot wishes he and Mr. Wormtail could switch compartments. Or rather, just companions._**

_Mr. Wormtail wouldn't be opposed to that. Mr. Padfoot has always been much better around_ _girls than him._

What about you Moony?

…

Moony? Are you even there?

…

Guys, I think Mr. Moony must have gotten the lucky compartment.

_Mr. Wormtail recalls that Mr. Moony, as prefect, was put with the fourth year Ravenclaw girls._

**_Mr. Padfoot is impressed. He supposes Mr. Moony is just too busy snogging all of them to talk with us._**

**I AM NOT.**

There you are, Moony. We were beginning to think you didn't love us anymore.

**Mr. Moony can't believe Mr. Padfoot just said that. They're fourth years.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is shameless (in more ways than one). He doesn't see any problem with fourth years. Some of the girls in your compartment are pretty good snoggers, actually. You should try it out, Moony._**

**Mr. Moony is disgusted. Both at Mr. Padfoot's taste in girls and his method of getting my** **attention.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't care. It worked, didn't it?_**

**To my extreme displeasure.**

Mr. Prongs suggests that Mr. Padfoot not mention his "history" with the Ravenclaw fourth years around his girlfriend.

_Mr. Wormtail agrees. Marlene McKinnon is one scary girl._

**_She is not._**

_Mr. Wormtail begs Mr. Padfoot to remember last week._

**_Huh?_**

_Mr. Wormtail is referring to the time that one seventh years was flirting with you. She nearly_ _killed everyone within ten feet._

**_Oh yeah._**

_Mr. Wormtail's point is made. Miss McKinnon is scary._

**_On that thought, Mr. Padfoot has no intention of telling Marlene about any of his history with anybody. And for the record, I was making it quite clear to Amy that I had no interest in her whatsoever._**

Mr. Prongs is suspicious of that fact that Mr. Padfoot remembers her name.

**_Mr. Padfoot only remembers because she's stalked him ever since he snogged her at Christmas fifth year. She's kinda hard to ignore. And no, Mr. Padfoot doesn't plan on telling_** **_Marlene that he snogged her either. Or that he snogged anyone else._**

_So, you're pretty much going to keep your entire life from her?_

**_Mr. Padfoot is rather offended. It's not his entire life._**

**He shouldn't be offended. Mr. Wormtail has a point.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what Mr. Moony was so occupied doing if he wasn't snogging fourth years.

**Mr. Moony was reading.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is horrified. We just got out of school and you're studying?_**

**Mr. Moony is not studying. He's reading.**

**_Like reading a novel?_**

**Yes.**

**_For fun?_**

**Yes.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is disgusted. Why does Mr. Moony choose to inflict such torture upon himself?_**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't know. He doesn't get Mr. Moony either._

Mr. Prongs is not so horrified. There are some good books out there.

**_Mr. Padfoot feels forsaken and betrayed by his best mate._**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot is being ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with most books. School books are still the most mind-numbing torture devices ever. But novels are good.

**_Mr. Padfoot grudgingly agrees to take Mr. Prongs' word for it._**

_Mr. Wormtail inquires what Mr. Moony is reading that is so much more interesting than us._

**Mr. Moony is trying to read A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.**

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks it sounds boring._**

Mr. Prongs knows that Mr. Padfoot finds everything boring.

**_Everything that's not Quidditch. Or girls. Rather, Marlene._**

True.

**Mr. Moony objects to this assessment. It's a very good book.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doubts it._**

**No, it's a very good book. Especially for Mr. Padfoot.**

**_Mr. Padfoot still doubts it._**

Mr. Prongs wonders why Mr. Moony thinks this book would be right for Mr. Padfoot.

**_Mr. Padfoot's interest is caught just a bit._**

_Do tell, Moony. Why would Padfoot enjoy this book?_

**It has everything: a drunk, a crazy old man, a sweet girl, a handsome charmer, a revolution, an unjust imprisonment, a wine shop, a mystery, a love triangle, a sacrifice, a noble man, a doctor, a banker. And all in Dickens' excellent prose.**

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders if we should just find this Dickens guy and let Mr. Moony snog him._**

**Mr. Moony doesn't want to snog Dickens. He's an old dead guy.**

**_So you don't want to snog him because he's a guy or 'cause he's dead?_**

**Both. Mr. Moony doesn't snog guys. And he doesn't snog dead people.**

He doesn't snog fourth year Ravenclaws either.

**_Nice one Prongs._**

Thanks. Kinda proud of it.

**Mr. Moony wonders if his reading was disrupted for a good reason or if you all were just bored and wanted to make fun of me.**

**_Both._**

**Thanks, Padfoot.**

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it. And yes, this is a two parter. Sorry, but you don't get to find out what the End of Term Feast prank was until next time... :D Ooooh. The suspense.

A preview:

_Mr. Moony wishes to remind Mr. Prongs that all of this is his own fault. And that goes for the rest of us too._

_Mr. Padfoot still thinks Minnie is too smart for her own good. She didn't even have that much evidence we did it!_

* * *

Anyone like Moony's book choice? If you haven't read _A Tale of Two Cities, _you should. It's amazing. I was inspired to by Cassandra Clare's Infernal Devices series (anyone who's finished _Clockwork Princess_? Thoughts? I'd love to talk with someone who's also finished it!) and it was totally worth it. One of the best books out there.

I'm still open for ideas. If you want to read about something, or have an inkling of an idea in the back of your mind, or even just a single line that you want me to make into a chapter, please tell me! I really want to finish this out, but am going to need some input in order to that! Thanks to the few who already sent me some ideas and expect to see them soon!

So, review? Please? With anything? _Clockwork Princess_ fan (or if you hated it)? Ideas? Les Mis reference? Please?

~esin


	11. Aboard the Hogwarts Express Part II

**A/N:** And two weeks into my Camp NaNoWriMo adventure, I have written nearly 15,000 words. Yayz for me! But you guys don't care about my life, so on with the important stuff.

And my reviewers for chapter ten: _4everbookworm, person, The Scarlet Nightingale, Catheline, Guest[1],_ _Guest[2],_ and_ Kagrara. _You guys are awesome. Thanks so much. This week you get... warm and gooey chocolate chip cookies. Those ones that they were out of when I went to buy one at lunch... :(

**person**: Miss Esin is rather impressed by Mr. Person's theory, but sadly, she had not thought of that when she named the chapter. She does like Doctor Who though and wishes she had had that in mind. Thanks for the review! Miss Esin hopes this chapter is just as good.

**Guest[1]**: I haven't seen that movie, but I'm not a huge cartoon person either. You should totally read the book though!

**Guest[2]**: I have every intention of continuing. Never fear. It will happen. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

**Kagrara**: See? This reviewing thing isn't that bad, isn't it? Now maybe you'll stop messaging me and start reviewing instead... :) 3 You can be even happier because you get this on Fridays and my novel on Mondays. Which, btw, be prepare for _major_ headaches trying to read the next part. I'm trying not to think about it.

And you get to find out about the End of Term Prank in this chapter, enjoy! By the way, that Les Misèrables reference I mentioned last chapter? Yeah, it's in this chapter. Ooops. *Sheepish grin* Extra brownie points if you find it... Sorry...

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

_Previously..._

The four Marauders are on the Hogwarts Express on their way home from sixth year. They are in separate compartments as punishment for their prank at the End of Term Feast. Mr. Prongs is in a compartment by himself, Mr. Padfoot is with the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Mr. Wormtail is with the sixth year Gyrffindor girls, and Mr. Moony is with the fourth year Ravenclaw girls.

Mr. Padfoot accused Mr. Moony of snogging the girls in his compartment to get his attention. It turns out that Mr. Moony was actually reading _A Tale of Two Cities_. Mr. Padfoot admitted to having snogged several of the girls in Mr. Moony's compartment and suggested that Mr. Moony try it. Mr. Moony explained why Mr. Padfoot would enjoy _A Tale of Two Cities_. Mr. Prongs and Mr. Wormtail commented on these events and complained about their own seating arrangements.

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Aboard the Hogwarts Express Part II

Mr. Prongs is very bored. At least the rest of you have other people in your compartments.

**Mr. Moony wishes to remind Mr. Prongs that all of this is his own fault. And that goes for the rest of us too.**

**_Mr. Padfoot still thinks Minnie is too smart for her own good. She didn't even have that much evidence we did it!_**

**Mr. Moony thinks that there was more than enough circumstantial evidence against us. Using the End of Term Feast Prank to get back at Snape was a dead giveaway.**

**_But we couldn't just let him get away with it!_**

Yeah! He turned my hair blond too!

_Mr. Wormtail is again glad to be naturally blond._

**Mr. Moony doesn't think it was at all obvious that turning Snape's hair permanently pink was revenge. No way that the professors would figure that one out.**

Mr. Prongs is still disappointed. His hair didn't even turn out neon pink like it was supposed to.

_Mr. Wormtail thinks the soft rose-pink was much more hilarious. He looked like a greasy_ _watermelon._

**_Wormtail, watermelons are pink on the inside, not the outside._**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks it's perfectly possible the inside of Mr. Snape's head is that color too._

Mr. Prongs doesn't really want to think about it.

**_Mr. Padfoot, however, is very proud of the prank as a whole and would like to congratulate his fellow Marauders on our glorious success._**

_Mr. Wormtail hopes that the Professors don't do anything terrible to all those guinea pigs._

**Relax, Wormtail. They're not going to hurt the guinea pigs. They'll probably just transfigure them back.**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks that transfiguring them back would be cruel._

**_Because being a smelly rodent is so much better of an existence than being a water goblet._**

_Mr. Wormtail takes offense to the rodent remark._

**_My apologies, Wormtail._**

_Mr. Wormtail still thinks that the ability to move around has to be better than being an_ _inanimate and stationary object._

**_Yes, "stationary" is typically what "inanimate" means, Wormtail. Good job._**

_Shut up._

**Mr. Moony thinks this argument is pointless. Transfiguration doesn't last forever. They've** **probably all turned back by now anyway.**

Mr. Prongs immensely enjoyed the looks on everyone's faces when they reached for their water goblets.

**_Only to have them turn into guinea pigs!_**

_Mr. Wormtail is still amazed by that piece of magic. It's very impressive. He's still doesn't_ _understand how Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs did it._

**_Come on, Wormy. We've only explained it to you a dozen times. And you were sitting there while we did it!_**

**Mr. Moony also thinks it was rather obvious that we were the ones behind it because ours were the only glasses that didn't change.**

Mr. Prongs concedes that we might not have thought that through.

**Mr. Moony is glad that the Marauders do not usually plan pranks directly after full moon. It is evident that they need his help.**

Mr. Prongs points out that they couldn't just skip the End of Term prank because of the full moon.

**_Yeah, it would have been a dead giveaway for Moony's furry little problem._**

**Mr. Moony doesn't think anyone who doesn't already know would put two and two together.**

Mr. Prongs supposes Mr. Moony is right.

**_Of course he is. He's Moony._**

**Mr. Moony is quite eager to return to his book. Do we have anything that we desperately need to discuss?**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't think so._

Mr. Padfoot disagrees. We still need to convince Moony that he doesn't need to hide the truth from us.

**Mr. Moony has no idea what Mr. Padfoot is talking about.**

**_It's okay, Moony. We know you're snogging those fourth years. No need to be bashful._**

**Mr. Moony has had quite enough of this. He's going to return to his book and Mr. Sydney** **Carton. Unlike Mr. Padfoot, Mr. Carton's immorality is tragic and not being forced upon Mr. Moony's reputation.**

Ouch.

**_No kidding._**

**Good-bye. I'm going to read now. I'll see you at the station.**

**_FAREWELL MOONY! WE'LL MISS YOU!_**

**Oh, and Padfoot? Please desist from all messed up and perverted ways of getting my attention.**

**_Dang it, Moony. You take all the fun out of life._**

Mr. Prongs really wishes he had someone to play Exploding Snap with. His hand is starting to cramp from all this writing.

**_Mr. Padfoot is now actually glad he's not in a compartment with Mr. Prongs. He does not enjoy playing Exploding Snap with Mr. Prongs._**

Mr. Prongs thinks it's rather unfair to judge a game on your inability to win it.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks it's perfectly reasonable._**

_Mr. Wormtail wishes he was in another compartment too. He's really not happy with this group_ _of girls._

Mr. Prongs wonders what Miss Evans is doing. She is in your compartment, right?

_Mr. Wormtail confirms that Miss Evans is in his compartment. But no, you can't talk to her. She's_ _sleeping._

Mr. Prongs is disappointed.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders if Miss Marlene McKinnon is also in Mr. Wormtail's compartment._**

_Mr. Wormtail again confirms her presence._

**_Mr. Padfoot asks Mr. Wormtail to relay the following message: "Marlene. You are brighter than the stars. Would you be so kind as to bring light to my lonely existence? I await you in the last compartment in the third car. Yours truly, Sirius."_**

[A minute later.]

_Mr. Wormtail has relayed the message with a good deal of paraphrasing. She's on her way._

**_Farewell friends and comrades. My lovely lady awaits me._**

_Mr. Wormtail is going to follow the example of the girls in his compartment and take a nap. See_ _you at the station, Prongs._

Yeah. See you, Wormtail.

…

…

…

Alone. This isn't so bad. _I got rhythm…I got music…_ Never mind. This stinks. Dang it guys.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. We move onto the summer holidays next, with a slightly different format. Come back next week to see!

And I'm **still taking ideas** for later chapters! Please review or PM me with anything. A line, a scene, a situation, whatever.

Love you all and see you next week! Review! :)

~esin


	12. Summer of Love

**A/N:** Even though we established last chapter that you guys don't care, I have written 25,000 words towards my novel in the past 19 days. Kinda proud of that. Dead tired though. But it's artistic abandon, so it's wonderful.

This week, my lovely reviewers receive snickerdoodle cookies. Warm snickerdoodles. With milk. Mmmmmm. And those people are the wonderful: _The Scarlet Nightengale, 4everbookworm, Guest, Kagrara, icepen, jointed98, _and _LeahLumos_. Loves and hugs! ^.^

**Guest**: That's a great idea. Look forward to it! And thanks :) You make me feel happy inside.

**Kagrara**: You can review and _then_ message me. See? It all works out. Poor Prongs indeed. At least he got to sing a happy song :) Awwww. You make me happy inside too. Hope you enjoy "A Bird's-Eye View of Xiangarde" on Monday then! It's going well. Planning to pick the names for the rest of the Quarters in NYC though, so some of them are just like [7]. :/

And off for the Summer of Love... makes me think of _It's a Wonderful Life_ and the two people walking back singing "Buffalo Gals". But that's just me.

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Summer of Love

Dearest Lily-Flower,

Words can barely describe how much I love you. Each moment that has passed since I last saw you has been empty. You are the light of my very existence. It is from this love for you that I have taken it upon myself to venture into the lofty realms of poetry to express my feelings:

_Your hair is sweeter than roses_

_ At your smile my mind decomposes_

_ To you my heart proposes_

_ That you and I go on a date-ses_

Please Lily?

Yours with love,

James

* * *

**_Dear Moony,_**

Save me! I'm sooooo bored. All Prongs does is write to Evans. Every letter takes him hours to complete and he insists on having me listen to every single draft. It's horrible. Want a house guest?

**_-Padfoot_**

* * *

My Beauteous Miss Evans,

These few weeks of summer have been only pain for me. I cannot go on if I cannot catch even a glimpse of you. I only hope that you return even a fraction of my feelings and longing for you. We're meant to be together, Lily. I know it. Please accept my offer for a date. It will be worth it. I promise.

Love,

James

* * *

**Padfoot,**

No, I do not want a house guest. I have a job this summer and certainly don't care to babysit you. As for Lily, she has my greatest sympathies.

**-Moony**

* * *

_Sirius,_

Please tell your pathetic and idiotic excuse for a best friend to stop writing to me. No, I will not go out with him. Sending me several letters a day will not change my mind.

_Sincerely,_

_Lily Evans_

P.S. Tell him also that he should never become a poet. I don't think I've ever read anything more horrendous.

* * *

Dear Mr. Moony,

Mr. Prongs is overjoyed at Miss Evans' response to his letters. True, it was mistakenly addressed to Mr. Padfoot, but Mr. Prongs cannot be more elated. He has enclosed a copy for Mr. Moony's perusal.

-Mr. Prongs

* * *

**_Moony,_**

We have trouble. By now you have no doubt received Prongs' letter. There is something seriously wrong with him. See what you've left me with?

**_-Padfoot_**

P.S. He's carrying her letter around and practically drooling on it constantly. It's revolting. If I _ever_ do anything like this, please hex me.

* * *

**Lily,**

I never got the chance to thank you for covering prefect rounds for me. It was a huge help. Thank you.

How's your summer going? I've got a part time job at Flourish and Blotts for now, so I'm keeping pretty busy. Have you had the chance to look at our Arithmancy work yet? It looks challenging.

**-Remus**

P.S. I'm sorry James is being such a jerk. I'll tell him to knock it off next time I see him, but I can't promise it will do any good. You have my sympathy.

* * *

Lily, my life, my love,

My friends mock and condemn me for my devotion to you. But they simply do not understand how much you mean to me. I would give you the world if only I could. Please, accept my offers. Just one date! I promise if you give me one date, then you will be begging for the second instead. Do not reject me, Lily. I love you.

James

* * *

**Padfoot,**

Don't you have anyone else to write to? I'm very busy here. I agree that Prongs has serious issues as far as Miss Evans is concerned, but there's nothing we can do. Please direct future letters to Wormtail or your girlfriend. Speaking of which, why don't you just have her over if Prongs is ignoring you?

**-Moony**

* * *

_Remus,_

Thanks for your letter. It's nice to actually write to a sane person. Unlike some certain friends of yours.

You're welcome for the prefect cover. I'm happy to help out anytime. If anyone deserves it, you do. I'm so happy you have a job. Hopefully things will go as smoothly next summer as well. I hope your condition doesn't cause any troubles either.

My summer has been decent so far. Petunia is off with her boyfriend most days, so I don't see much of her—a relief for sure. Mostly I'm just trying to keep busy with summer homework and catch up on my reading. Oh, and dream up creative ways to murder your best friend. Really, no hard feelings.

_-Lily_

* * *

**_Moony,_**

I'd like to ask once more if you'd take me in. Or at least try to be the voice of reason to our deluded friend. Please. I'm begging you. This is painful to watch.

Desperately,

**_Padfoot_**

* * *

**Padfoot,**

Fine. I'll try to talk to him. We're still meeting for dinner on Friday, right? I'll say something then. Please try not to let him do anything too drastic in the meantime, will you? I don't want to be included in Lily's wrath.

**-Moony**

* * *

SIRIUS BLACK YOU TELL YOUR FRIEND TO STOP WRITING ME OR I'M GOING TO SEND BOTH OF YOU HEXED LETTERS. YOUR FACES WILL BE ETERNALLY DISFIGURED.

_Yours,_

_Lily Evans_

* * *

**A/N:** I hereby swear never, ever to do a chapter like that again. I don't write love letters. I don't write poetry. I realize that now. Promise. No more. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it.

And once again, I must make a sad announcement: **there will be no update next Friday, the 26th**. I'm very sorry for this. But I'm leaving this Wednesday to go to New York City for five days with my school orchestra. I'm soooooooo excited. It's going to be amazing and inspiring and I'm hoping to pick up a ton of great ideas and have a blast. But it also means I will have no computer, so no update. I also will have to wait to respond to all reviews until Sunday after Wednesday night. Please go ahead and review, I will respond. It just might take a couple days! I love you all and will see you again in two weeks. Unless you reivew. Then I'll respond. :)

Please review! :D (And I'm still open for ideas!)

~esin


	13. Rebellion Stratagem

**A/N:** Hi! This is Esin's friend, Kagrara. I am updating for her while is with her school orchestra in New York. You weren't supposed to get an update this week becase she is gone, but here it is anyway! I hope you all enjoy the updates as much as I do. A big thank you from Esin to _4everbookworm, The Imaginatrix, LeahLumos, Catheline, Guest, Guest, me, _and_ Guest _for reviewing last week. You all get double chocolate bacon cookies which are pretty much the best food ever. Esin will reply to all of you next week when she is back.

And even though Esin says you guys don't care, I do, so I'm telling you, she reached her April goal of 30,000 words toward her novel with several days to spare. I had the same goal and I still have like 29,900 words left to write, so congratulations Esin! You will all hear from her again next week.

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

_Lily Evans-Italic Underline_

**Marlene McKinnon-Bold Underline**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Rebellion Stratagem…I Forget What Number I'm On

Moony,

I would recommend that you avoid my house at all costs for the next week or so. The danger associated with being here has just skyrocketed. Take my word for it. You'll find out why as soon as you get Padfoot's owl.

-Prongs

* * *

**_MOONY_**

You absolutely must come over immediately. I have something to show you!

**_-Padfoot_**

* * *

**_Marlene!_**

Please come over and see my new… well, you'll see it when you get here. Seriously, this is the best thing ever!

**_Love,_**

**_Sirius_**

* * *

**_Wormtail,_**

You absolutely _must_ come see what I just got!

**_-Padfoot_**

* * *

**Padfoot,**

I'm not really sure I have time to come over any time before the next full moon. I'm very busy with work. Please just tell me. Or send a picture. Under no circumstances are you to show up at my house. I'm not kidding when I say I don't have time. I've already been hanging out with you guys every spare second I have.

**-Moony**

* * *

_Padfoot,_

I'm sorry I can't come. You may have forgotten that I'm currently with my mother in France. I look forward to seeing you once school starts though!

_-Wormtail_

* * *

**Lily,**

I yet again offer my apologies for my friends. I have been much too busy with my job to rein them in this summer. I hope they aren't doing anything more than just writing letters though. Trust me, it could get much worse.

I have hope that my "condition" as you put it will not cause any complications with my job now or in the future, but I know it is likely that it will. That's partly why I've been so busy. I might as well take advantage of the income I have. I'd like to think I wouldn't need these savings desperately, but I also know what is practical.

I'm sorry your sister is a horrible as ever. I wish I had time to come see you. Maybe you could see Marlene sometime? She and Sirius can't be attached at the lips all the time. Especially if he's finding time to annoy you.

**-Remus**

* * *

_Marlene,_

I'm so glad you're back! I've had no one to talk to all summer. Except Remus, but he's too busy to hang out. Petunia is doing her best to ignore me—which I suppose I'm not too upset about what with how she's been acting lately. The only other person I've written to has been your idiot boyfriend in an attempt to get his idiot best friend to stop writing to me. It's been several times a day. And his letters… he thinks he's being romantic, but it's actually quite terrifying.

How was your trip? I hope it went well. If you have a free day, we should meet up somewhere. Maybe in Diagon Alley? Just tell me when you're free and not busy with that boyfriend of yours. (You know I don't mind you're dating him, it's just that he can be so annoying at times!)

_-Lily_

* * *

**_Moony,_**

Fine, fine. I'll tell you.

I GOT MYSELF A MOTORBIKE.

It's amazing. It's beautiful. It's sleek and black and shiny and my parents would have a conniption if they saw it. You would not believe how awesome it is to drive. It goes so fast. (Please don't mention anything to Mrs. Potter about her hedge. It was an accident. I swear.)

Oh, and Prongs and I are trying to enchant it so it will fly. The spell work is a little tricky but we're getting close. It hovers now. We just have to find a way to steer in three dimensions.

You can ride it at full moon (before you transform, of course).

**_-Padfoot_**

* * *

Dear Marlene,

I regret to inform you that you have been replaced. Please let me convey my condolences. For the record, I always liked you better than this hunk of metal your "boyfriend" is in love with. (But still, the bike is pretty sweet.)

-James

* * *

**Padfoot,**

I'm glad you're so happy. And yes, your parent would be furious. Why don't you show up on their doorstep with it to say hello? And take James with you to get picture of their faces.

One question: do you actually have a license to drive that thing? What happens if the muggle police pull you over?

**-Moony**

* * *

**James,**

Thanks for your concern, but I must say, having ridden Sirius' motorbike, I might be even more in love with it than he is. It's amazing. So thanks, but no thanks.

**-Marlene**

P.S. I'm glad you like me better than the bike.

* * *

**_Moony,_**

You need a license? Oh well. I'll just have to use my charm to get off. Nothing's happened though. Yet.

Will we see you next week then? You can try it out. We've nearly perfected the flying charms!

**_Padfoot_**

* * *

Moony,

Never mind my last letter. You have to come ride this thing. It's amazing. We'll even let you drive! (And with Padfoot's track record that might be a good thing. The hedge was excusable, the fountain was hideous to begin with, but you'd think he'd be able to avoid the pond. Or at least fly over it.)

-Prongs

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please review! It makes Esin very happy! She would still love to hear any ideas you guys have for another chapter, so if you have any you can include them in your review or PM them to her if you are afraid that other people who read the reviews will steal your ideas. Esin will be back next week to respond to all your reviews.


	14. King and Queen of Hogwarts

**A/N:** Excellent. I'm back from NYC! It was amazing and I think I'm in love with the city. Thanks for all your well-wishes everyone! And on that note, more thanks to **Kagrara**. Honestly, she's wonderful and the only reason you guys got a chapter last week. That was all her idea. So thank her profusely. And I might get her to upload more often because for some reason you all are more willing to review for her than for me... -.- Don't you guys love me? :)

So, for the numerous reviewers, you get frozen, chocolate-covered bananas cause they're amazing. And those people are... _PjoHP, LeahLumos _(twice!)_, 4everbookworm, Catheline, Guest, shewolf2000, The Imaginatrix,_ and _The Demigod Gryffindor_. And lastly, a shout-out for_** IamKatieGDaughterofDemeter**_. She's amazing. You know why? She left SEVEN reviews and made my week. :D :D

**S.N. **(ch. 12, April 19th): Thank you, I did, you're welcome, and here you go :) True, I'm in the same boat, but remember how much Lily hates James at this point. Random guy failing at romance? Sure. Guy you hate failing at being romantic? Not so much.

**Guest** (ch. 12, April 19th): That's cool. I hope you had as much fun as we did!

**Kagrara**: I'm glad you like it. You'll see a bit more here. Lol, but you did spell Xiangarde right. Look forward to Rhyder blowing up the elevator this week... xD

**Guest **(ch. 11, April 21st): I know... I love that song too. Especially the version with Gene Kelly and all the little French children :) Thanks so much, that's my goal here. Hope you keep enjoying it!

**Miss Wizbef** (ch. 13, April 28th): Thanks. I had a lovely time in New York. I'd be impressed too, but I got all my chapter pre-written in March so I could write my novel in April :P But thanks anyway!

Wow. Lots of reviews. See? I leave for a week and the whole world goes to pot and my inbox explodes!

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

_Lily Evans-Italic Underline_

**Marlene McKinnon-Bold Underline**

-esin

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: King and Queen of Hogwarts

_Remus,_

It's okay. My death threats seem to have worked. I just had to tell Sirius his face would be permanently disfigured… Anyway, the letters have stopped. And no, I really don't want to know how much worse it could get.

I'm sorry about your work situation and I'm willing to help in any way if you ever need it. Recommendations, going in to shout at prospective employers, anything you need. And I have seen Marlene recently. She was travelling for a bit at the beginning of the summer, but things are definitely looking up since she's returned.

Oh and speaking of things looking up, _I was made Head Girl for next year!_ I don't know who got Head Boy yet. Was it you? You certainly deserve it!

_-Lily_

* * *

Moony,

I know you're going to think I'm kidding you, but I got Head Boy. No kidding. Seriously. I'll take a picture and show you. Padfoot thinks this is a big joke and just Dumbledore's odd sense of humor, but still. I've got the badge!

Any idea who the Head Girl is? Wasn't everyone guessing it would be that Ravenclaw?

-Prongs

* * *

**_Marlene,_**

James got Head Boy! I can't believe it. It's got to be some cosmic joke or something. Oh well. Are we still on for Friday? Of course you could come over and hang out before then if you'd like…

**_-Sirius_**

* * *

**Remus,**

I suppose you've probably already heard from them personally (yes, I know you write to both of them!), but Lily and James are Heads for this year. I'm still not sure how exactly it happened, but let's just say that Dumbledore is either brilliant or mad for this. They're either going to be the best Heads ever or kill each other by the end of week one.

Anyway, I haven't told either Lily or Sirius who the pair is, and I was hoping you'd do the same. I mean, I just kinda have to be there when they see each other on the train. What do you say? Keep it a secret and be ready with cameras? Lily doesn't write to either James or Sirius enough to tell them and she's started just burning their letters because they're so annoying. This could actually work…

**Mischievously,**

**Marlene**

* * *

**Prongs,**

That's great! I'm really happy for you. I can't wait to see everyone's faces when we get to school. They'll be so surprised!

**-Moony**

* * *

**Sirius,**

That's great. I'm so happy for James! Pass it along for me, will you? See you this Friday! (Or before if I have time.)

**-Marlene**

* * *

**_Moony,_**

We'd like to congratulate you on thinking of the best prank ever. Announcing that Prongs is Head Boy is the best start-of-term idea we've ever had. Well done. It's top secret until then! Only the four of us and Marlene know. And she's promised not to tell anyone. Get your camera ready Moony!

**_-Padfoot_** and Prongs

* * *

**Marlene,**

It's taken care of. James and Sirius won't tell anyone else about it so word can't get back to Lily. I've convinced them it should be the start-of-term prank. And Lily doesn't write to too many people over the summer, so we're good from that end.

As for me, I think Dumbledore is brilliant. Once the two of them are forced to get over everything and work together, they'll make a really good team. And who knows? Maybe she'll teach James some maturity.

**-Remus**

* * *

**Lily,**

Congrats on Head Girl! I knew you would get it even if everyone thought it would go to that one Ravenclaw. (I still can't remember her name! It's been years.)

Thanks for offering to help. It means a lot. Hopefully, I won't have to take you up on the offer.

See you in a couple days on the Hogwarts Express!

**-Remus**

* * *

Moony,

I told Wormtail about the prank idea the other day when he was over. Sorry you missed him.

I really wish I knew who the Head Girl was. I guess I'll find out in a few days. See you then!

Prongs

* * *

**Remus,**

I just want to say that we're kinda brilliant together. See you on the Hogwarts Express and get your camera ready!

Your gleeful partner in crime,

**Marlene**

* * *

_Remus,_

Don't feel bad about not remembering her name. It so long and complicated no one can. I think she's just universally known as "that Ravenclaw Prefect". And thanks for believing in me. I'm so excited! I've wanted this for a long time. I'm sad you didn't get Head Boy though. I hope I don't end up with a complete jerk. I have some really good ideas for this year.

See you in a few days! I'll meet up with you in the Prefect carriage and we can talk before the meeting. Do you want to do patrols together again this year? I mean, I'll have to do a lot with the Head Boy, but there should still be some time for us to hang out.

_-Lily_

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and please review! Pretend I'm Kagrara and review like that, okay? I've got 96 right now, so I could head into triple digits!

I'm still taking suggestions for ideas! If you have something you'd like to happen in seventh year (which starts next week!), please review or PM me.

Love you all, see you next week!

~esin


	15. Happy Together

**A/N:** And we're back to normal and the beginning of seventh year! Hope you guys are enjoying this still :)

Thanks to the epic reviewers: _LeviosaLove, 4everbookworm, LeahLumos, IamKatieGDaughterofDemeter, Kagrara, The Imaginatrix, The Demigod Gryffindor, Minie Dumbledore, Jointed98,_ and _person_. Ten reviews. Siriusly awesome people! I'm at 106 now, so you totally blew away my request to get in triple digits! You all get carrot cake with lovely cream cheese frosting for being amazing. More thanks to my guests for naming themselves. You make it so much easier for me!

**Kagrara**: You had better be looking forward to the elevator scene. Oh well. We're getting close to the end now. A lot of drama happens this week. And some atrocious scenes that are terrible because I'm just trying to get stuff written at the moment. Thanks for bearing with me, dearie.

**Minie Dumbledore**: I'm glad you like it. Hope this is a good enough reaction chapter for you! Thanks for the review and reading!

**Jointed98**: Awwww, you're making me all warm and happy inside. Thank you so much. (And I'm an unmarried girl, so I'm not sure if it's Ma'am or Miss. Either works, I think. Ma'am in this context? I dunno. Thanks.)

**person**: Thanks! I will keep going with this (how could I let all you lovely people down?) and I update on Fridays once I get home from school. So like 4:30 or 5:00 by the time it's edited. Hope to see you again!

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: So Happy Together

In Muggle Studies…

Mr. Prongs can't believe his friends failed to inform him that the love of his life was made Head Girl.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks it was a good idea. The looks on your faces? Priceless._**

_Mr. Wormtail was sworn to secrecy. He considers himself blameless here._

**Mr. Moony doesn't think this looks like a very good beginning to the year.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what Mr. Moony is talking about.

**Mr. Moony asks his friends to consider what sort of precedent this sets for the rest of the year. It's only the first lesson and you're already passing notes!**

It's not like we're first years, Moony. We've done this whole class thing before.

**_Yeah. Enough times to know it's booooring._**

**Mr. Moony is debating whether or not it's worth it to try to convince the three of you to actually pay attention this year.**

It's not.

**_Preposterous._**

_Waste of time._

**Thanks guys. You're really giving me a ton of hope for your bright and happy futures.**

**_Mr. Padfoot mentions that "preposterous" is a word and he used it correctly._**

**Mr. Moony congratulates Mr. Padfoot on his success. But we've been over this before.**

Speaking of bright and happy futures, Mr. Prongs would like to again express his displeasure that his friends did not inform him of his.

_Mr. Wormtail was not aware Mr. Prongs had a specifically bright and happy future._

**_Mr. Padfoot believes Mr. Prongs is referring to his shared Headship with Miss Evans._**

Mr. Prongs is hurt that Mr. Wormtail does not believe his future will be bright and happy.

_Mr. Wormtail was only saying that he was unaware that sharing Headship with Miss Evans was_ _bright and happy for Mr. Prongs._

**Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Wormtail must be awfully dense. Haven't we already established that everything involving Miss Evans being near him counts as bright and happy for Mr. Prongs?**

_Mr. Wormtail is certain that Miss Evans does not feel the same way. In fact, he was thinking that_ _she might purposefully make it very much not bright or happy for Mr. Prongs._

Mr. Prongs knows that Miss Evans will soon come to realize her true feelings for him—

**_What? That she really wants to hit you over the head with a broomstick? I think she's already realized that, mate._**

Mr. Prongs was referring to the deep and profound love Miss Evans secretly harbors for him.

**Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Prongs is just a tad bit delusional.**

Mr. Prongs knows that he and Miss Evans will one day be very happy together.

**_It's like that one song! I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life _**

**Moving on from that…**

**_ When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue for all my life _**

_Mr. Wormtail isn't sure Miss Evans…_

**Mr. Moony advises Mr. Wormtail against upsetting Mr. Prongs' delicate hopes. We wouldn't want him to get all sulky for a week again.**

**_ Me and you and you and me, no matter how they toss the dice, it has to be _**

Mr. Prongs is certain he will be proved right in the end. Anyway, he and Miss Evans did fine at the prefect's meeting on the train.

**_ The only one for me is you, and you for me. So happy together _**

**Mr. Moony concedes to that. I'm very proud of both of you. Keep things up like that and you both might survive the year.**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't like the sound of "survive the year"._

**Well, either Miss Evans will kill Prongs or kill herself to get away from him.**

**_ So happy together _**

Mr. Prongs thinks that's awfully morbid of Mr. Moony.

**_ So happy together _**

**Padfoot! Will you stop singing already?!**

**_ We're happy together Mooooony _**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that those revised lyrics in no way fit into the rhythm of the_ _song._

**Mr. Moony would be a lot happier if Mr. Padfoot would quit singing.**

Mr. Prongs is confident of his abilities to win Miss Evans over.

**Humming under your breath is just as bad, Padfoot.**

_Mr. Wormtail will take Mr. Prongs' word for it._

**Whistling as well.**

**_Mr. Moony has no appreciation for good music._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Padfoot listens to muggle music because he actually likes it or_ _because it annoys his parents._

**_Both._**

**Mr. Moony is not surprised in the least.**

Mr. Prongs would like to point out that Mr. Padfoot's parents are no longer around him to be annoyed, so if he's still listening to it, he must like it.

**Mr. Moony is astounded by Mr. Prongs' cool use of logic.**

**_Mr. Padfoot enjoys muggle music immensely. It's much better than some of the awful crap on WWN._**

Mr. Prongs wonders what sort of music Miss Evans listens to.

**Mr. Moony declares Mr. Prongs hopeless.**

_Mr. Wormtail suggests Mr. Prongs ask her._

Mr. Prongs thinks that is an excellent idea. Then they could listen together…

**_ So happy together _**

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoyed that! We're back to our usual note-passing for now. Just a few notices before I leave you:

1. **This is the LAST WEEK for ideas.** I'm starting to plot out the rest of seventh year, so I need everyone's idea by the end of this week or next. You can still submit them after that, but there's no promises I'll be able to fit them in. Sorry guys, but the facts are there. Review or PM me if you have something.

2. **I have a POLL up on my profile_._**If you could all go take it, that would be great. It will take 30 seconds. 4 clicks. Just do it. Not hard at all. Even if you don't review.

Thanks, and as always, please review! I love hearing from you guys :) I'm having trouble getting back into writing this. I have this Once Upon A Time obsession that won't go away. So, your reviews are making chapters happen at the moment. No pressure. Jk. Love you!

~esin


	16. This Is So Not Happening

**A/N: **Here we have chapter sixteen!

Lovely reviewers, you get apple cake. It doesn't sound like much, but it's one of the most amazing things ever. And those people are: _prankprincess123, LeahLumos, 4everbookworm, SNRomance, The Demigod Gryffindor, Kagrara, Minie Dumbledore, PoodleCake101, Jointed98, _and _Katniss Lestrange._ I also had a good amount of people follow and favorite this story this week. You all are amazing as well. You should review. Then I'd give you cake. :D

**Kagrara**:Thanks. Back-ups will come post-climax on Monday. Be prepared for freak-outs in the interim. :D You're awesome, you know that?

**Minie Dumbledore**: You're very welcome. Carrot cake is also a favorite of mine. Actually, I just like cream cheese frosting. But mom wouldn't make me a tub of that to eat with a spoon... sadness. Did you catch that the line you quoted was actually a reference to, like, the second or third chapter? I can't remember where, but there was an argument about the word "preposterous". Yes, Jily will show up. As for McGonagall, I'll have mentions of her throughout and there might be some off-screen stuff with her, but she's not exactly going to jump in and write notes with them, so she probably won't appear directly. But who knows? Something might occur to me!

**PoodleCake101**: Yes, you're cute. Thanks for reviewing buddy. Best brother ever award! :D Jk, you wouldn't read this chapter. I'm just going to ignore half of what you said... :D Love you!

**Jointed98**: Lol. "Ma'am" is just fine then :D If you were awesome enough to be British, what would you have said? Thanks for reviewing!

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: This Is So Not Happening

In Defense Against the Dark Arts…

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to inquire how Miss Evans is treating Mr. Prongs as of late._**

Mr. Prongs and Miss Evans are getting along famously. I think. Why? Should I be worried?

**_No, no need to be worried. Just wondering._**

**Mr. Moony wonders why Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are passing notes.**

**_Um… because we're bored?_**

Mr. Prongs wonders if there is any other reason they ever pass notes.

_Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that passing social notes during a test is an all-time high, er, ah, low for Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs._

**Mr. Moony thinks his fellow Marauders should start on their tests. The class period won't last forever.**

**_Thank goodness for that._**

**Padfoot!**

**_Moony!_**

**Take your test!**

**_No!_**

**…**

Mr. Prongs thinks we've gone and struck him speechless.

**_Mr. Padfoot offers a correction: _****_I've_****_ gone and struck him speechless._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Moony is passing notes with us if he's so worried about his test._

**Mr. Moony has completed his test. Unlike these louts here who haven't even started.**

**_Face it, Moony. This test is _****_so_****_ not happening._**

Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot. This is the third test today. And who cares? It's only a pre-test. There's no grade or anything.

**Mr. Moony maintains that even pre-tests have educational value and you should at least try to take them.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't consider it worth the effort._**

It's Friday afternoon, Moony. Let us live a little.

_Mr. Wormtail had pictured Mr. Prongs' definition of "live a little" less like this and more like Mr._ _Padfoot's definition._

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders what his definition is._**

_Isn't it something along the lines of "snog every girl in sight"?_

**_Oh. Right. Mr. Padfoot does agree with that definition._**

Mr. Prongs does not agree.

**_That's 'cause Prongsie's definition includes only snogging Evans._**

**Mr. Moony wonders if Mr. Padfoot intends to assert any effort toward his schoolwork at all this year.**

**_Mr. Padfoot does intend to graduate if that's what Mr. Moony is heading towards._**

**Mr. Moony points out that completing assignments is necessary for graduation.**

**_Mr. Padfoot will soon be very annoyed if this is how Mr. Moony intends to be all year._**

**Mr. Moony wonders what Mr. Padfoot is referring to.**

**_Mr. Padfoot would rather that Mr. Moony not be an interfering busy-body about schoolwork this year._**

Mr. Prongs seconds that request.

**Shut up, Prongs. I'll get to you in a second.**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Prongs should be afraid, very afraid._

Mr. Prongs doesn't need Mr. Wormtail to point that out.

**Mr. Moony would like to remind Mr. Padfoot that without his help, all of you would still be failing Second Year.**

**_Why Second Year?_**

**Because I do have some faith in you.**

**_Ouch._**

No kidding.

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to think he is a little better at magic than that._**

Mr. Prongs would like to remind Mr. Padfoot of his abilities to remove his motorbike from the pond this summer.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders if Mr. Prongs will ever let him live that one down._**

Never.

**_Thanks mate._**

Anytime. After all, what else are best mates for?

_Mr. Wormtail advises that Mr. Padfoot not answer that question._

**_Mr. Padfoot offers his thanks for Mr. Moony for helping with his continued education at_** **_Hogwarts, but now begs him to keep to his own business._**

**Mr. Moony does not see this as a wise course of action, but will attempt to honor Mr. Padfoot's wishes.**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Moony sounds like he's on Mr. Padfoot's deathbed._

Mr. Prongs certainly hopes not.

**_Mr. Padfoot seconds that. He doesn't want to die!_**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what Mr. Moony had in mind to tell Mr. Prongs about his schoolwork._

Aw, dang it Wormy! You didn't have to remind him!

**Mr. Moony only wished to remind Mr. Prongs that he is now, as Head Boy, supposed to be a role model…**

Mr. Prongs was trying to forget that bit.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Moony is a big spoilsport._**

**Mr. Moony is only being realistic and trying to help.**

Mr. Prongs doesn't want to be a good role model. He's a Marauder.

**Mr. Moony wonders if he should inform Miss Evans of this attitude.**

No! Don't do that!

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Prongs is so vehement about this._

Mr. Prongs doesn't… doesn't want Miss Evans to… to think less of him for it.

**So you'll be a good student to impress Miss Evans but not because you're Head Boy? Typical.**

**_Awww. Young love._**

Shut up, Padfoot.

**_At least my girlfriend accepts my mischievous nature._**

**Mr. Moony doesn't see why it's such a bad thing that Miss Evans motivates Mr. Prongs to be a better person and grow up a little.**

**_It just is._**

**Maybe you should take a lesson from him and grow up a little yourself.**

**_Grow up? Never! I don't want to grow up! Off to Neverland!_**

**I never should have read him that book…**

* * *

**A/N:** No, Moony, you really shouldn't have. So this chapter was inspired by this test in government that my friend and I totally didn't take. We had just finished the AP Calculus test and we got back to class and there was a test. We looked at each other and were just like "this is so not happening". So then she spent the rest of class doodling and I spent it writing this chapter for you lovely people.

Brownie points for anyone who can guess which book Padfoot shouldn't have read. (Come on, this is really a freebie!) If you guys want I can announce those who won brownie points next chapter. :)

There is still a poll on my profile page. Go check it out! :D Please?

So, I am officially closing the asking for ideas. You can still give suggestions, there's just no guarantee I'll be able to make it work. So thanks to all the wonderful people who helped with that! So far ideas have come from: _i am red john, Katniss Lestrange, The Imaginatrix_, and a _Guest_. You guys are awesome and look for dedicated chapters later!

Attention: I'm out of pre-written chapters. :/ This is not good. So I will have something written for you next week, but it's going to take a lot of inspiration. I'm also writing the climax of an original novel I've been working on for a long time this weekend. It's rather terrifying. So, reviews = encouragement = more writing. :D

So, thanks for reading, please review, and have a lovely week people!

~esin


	17. Flaccid Sheep Mishaps

**A/N: **This chapter is literally hot off the press. I just finished it yesterday afternoon (usually I'm at least a week ahead of you all for safety's sake). Don't get burnt! :D

Lovely reviewers, you get English Toffee because you are awesome. _PjoHP, 4everbookworm, The Imaginatrix, Catheline, Katniss Lestrange, LeahLumos, The Demigod Gryffindor, Kagrara, jointed98, GoldenSnake12, Wizbef_ and _Guest_, this is for all of you. Thanks for the most reviews on a single chapter! I love you guys :)

**Kagrara**: Thanks :) Hope you enjoy this and I'll try my very best to get this novel finished already. :)

**GoldenSnake12**: Wrong book, buddy. Thank you. And nice try.

**Wizbef**: I'm glad you like it. And quotes are lovely. They're so much more special that just "really funny". Thanks :D You got the book right and I think I'll be able to fit that idea. It's good. I'll see what I can do.

**Guest**: Thanks :) I don't know why you'd be good with desserts though... did you mean to be signed in? Sirius makes me smile too. He's hilarious. Thank you for the inspiration. You're sweet and it worked. :)

And as promised, **brownie points** go to the following people for correctly guessing that _Peter Pan_ was the book Moony should not have read to Padfoot. The winners are: _4everbookworm, The Imaginatrix, Catheline, LeahLumos, The Demigod Gryffindor, Wizbef,_ and _Guest_. *sending virtual brownie points*

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: Flaccid Sheep Mishaps

Give credit those asking for McGonagall and Merriam-Webster Online

In Transfiguration…

**Mr. Moony has a strong desire to skin that cat.**

Mr. Prongs isn't quite sure how to respond to that.

**_Mr. Padfoot would gladly join Mr. Moony in this. The astronomy tower at midnight, okay?_**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what happened. Mr. Moony is not usually one to initiate distraction._

**Mr. Moony had an… unfortunate encounter on the way to class today.**

**_Mr. Padfoot does think it's rather hilarious._**

_Mr. Wormtail again asks what's going on._

**_Mr. Padfoot was walking to class with Mr. Moony when they ran into Mrs. Norris._**

Mr. Prongs sees where this is going.

_Mr. Wormtail continues to be utterly confused._

**Mr. Moony is a werewolf. Cats do not like wolves. Cats do not like monsters.**

**_Mrs. Norris doesn't like anyone._**

Good point.

**Anyway, Mr. Moony's presence was not appreciated by Mrs. Norris.**

**_Nope. Not one bit._**

_Mr. Wormtail hopes Mr. Moony is alright._

**Mr. Moony would have been just fine.**

That's great. Wait—"would have"?

**_Mr. Padfoot would do his best to look sheepish, but big, black dogs don't do sheepish very well._**

**Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Padfoot ought to be doing a whole lot more than just looking** **sheepish.**

**_It's the white and fluffy part, you see. And the flaccid "I'm gonna sit here and eat straw" thing._**

Mr. Prongs is pretty sure that sheep don't eat straw.

**Mr. Moony is appalled by Mr. Padfoot's murder of the word "flaccid".**

**_Don't be silly, Prongs. Of course sheep eat straw._**

I'm pretty sure they don't.

**_Well, they have to eat something. So why not straw?_**

Mr. Prongs is pretty sure sheep eat grass.

**Mr. Moony wonders if this argument is entirely necessary.**

Be quiet, Moony. This is heavy stuff.

**_Yeah, it's totally flaccid._**

**It's your head that's totally flaccid, that's what.**

**_Why thank you._**

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot to stop looking so smug. That wasn't a complement.**

**_It wasn't?_**

**No.**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Padfoot has any clue what "flaccid" means._

**_Not really. Mr. Padfoot just thought it sounded cool._**

**Mr. Moony is resisting the urge to beat his head upon his desk.**

Mr. Prongs advises against forceful head-to-desk contact. It could be painful.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what forceful head-to-desk contact is._

**_It's Prongs' fancy way of saying "banging your head on your desk"._**

_Oh. Right. I knew that._

**Mr. Moony suggests that Mr. Padfoot look up words before he uses them.**

**_Mr. Padfoot would, but he's too lazy to find a dictionary._**

**Here. One second.**

You keep a dictionary in your bag?!

**_Mr. Padfoot reminds Mr. Prongs that this is Moony we're talking about here._**

Right. I'm not surprised anymore.

_Mr. Wormtail is curious as to how Mr. Moony plans to get that dictionary across the room to_ _Mr. Padfoot._

**That's easy.**

Mr. Prongs has a bad feeling about this.

**_Wait, where's he going?_**

Mr. Prongs has no idea.

_Mr. Wormtail hopes he isn't turning us in._

[a few minutes later]

**_That wasn't funny, Moony._**

Yes, it was.

**_Shut up, Prongs._**

**Mr. Moony would like to point out that it worked.**

**_Going up to McGonagall and asking if you can give me a dictionary because I need it for the betterment of my person is _****_not_****_ funny._**

Yes it is.

**_Shut _****_up_****_, Prongs._**

_Mr. Wormtail is in agreement with Mr. Prongs._

**Mr. Moony maintains that it's not his fault McGonagall agrees with him about Mr. Padfoot's need for a dictionary.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't understand what Mr. Moony is referring to._**

**That parrot was still squawking swear words three weeks after your failed attempts to** **transfigure it!**

**_Oh. Oops._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Padfoot would just look up "flaccid" already. He wants to know_ _what it means._

**_Mr. Padfoot is getting to it._**

**Oh my. Now we know this is really never happening. Just look at up, Padfoot!**

Mr. Prongs suggests that Mr. Padfoot transfigure his rabbit first. It's looking a little squished there. Just loosen up there a bit before its eyes pop out.

**_No! Gary! Come back here!_**

**Mr. Moony is appalled.**

**_There. Gary is now a rather nice fountain pen._**

_Mr. Wormtail is very puzzled as to why Mr. Padfoot named his pen "Gary"._

**_I named the rabbit not the pen, you idjit!_**

**Mr. Moony doesn't care. Look up the word already.**

**_Okay. "Flaccid. Adjective." What's an adjective?_**

**Mr. Moony wants to go shoot himself. You're so hopeless, Sirius.**

An adjective is a part of speech. Just continue already. It's not important.

**_"Flaccid—not firm or stiff, lacking normal or youthful firmness, deficient in turgor"—what's turgor?—actually, on second thought, never mind—"lacking vigor or force."_**

**Well, Padfoot?**

**_Oh. I feel sheepish now._**

Dang it. Not this again.

**_Big, black dogs don't do sheepish very well…_**

* * *

**A/N:** Lol. Poor Moony, Prongs, and Wormtail. xD

So, I'm finishing up school and exams in the next week so good luck on exams to anyone else who is as well! Summer is almost here :) I'm going to try to have the entire thing written by the end of June so I can start writing other fanfictions, which I'd like to have totally finished before I begin posting. So no need to worry if I'm going to drop off the face of the internet. Unless I, like, die or something. But I don't expect that to happen.

The poll is still open people! So all of you lurkers in the background (I know you're there) should go vote. :D

So reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

~esin


	18. Slytherin Green With Envy

**A/N: **Credit goes to i am red john for the idea behind this chapter. Thank you very much. :)

Reviewers are wonderful and get coffee ice cream topped with chocolate shell sauce. Yum yum. These people are: _The Imaginatrix, The Demigod Gryffindor, 4everbookworm, Catheline, Katniss Lestrange, Minie Dumbledore, LeahLumos, Wizbef,_ and _Me. _You guys have no idea how much each of these reviews mean to me. Love you all.

**Minie Dumbledore**: Oh, lovely to see you :) I had wondered if I was missing a regular that week. Now I understand the desserts comment! I'm glad you like the chapter. I hope you feel better! *sending large amounts of extra ice cream in your direction*

**Wizbef**: I totally know what you mean about school. I was taking AP tests to learning actually stopped the first week of May. But I'm all done now! Lol. That is so awesome. I love it. I should do that sometime... :) Thanks, and here's your update!

**Me**: Thanks :) Yes, there will be. Probably not until second semester though. (P.S. You seriously can't think up a better nickname? My brother at least came up with "PoodleCakes". Try a little?) Thanks for reading and I will get to your story. Sometime in the next week.

_**Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic**_

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: Slytherin Green with Envy

In Charms…

**_Mr. Padfoot wishes Mr. Prongs would stop stewing over there._**

Mr. Prongs doesn't see any reason to do so.

**_Mr. Padfoot asks again that Mr. Prongs stop. These foul mood humors are messing up his charm-work._**

**Mr. Moony is pretty sure Prongs' mood has no actual effect on your charms, Padfoot. You're just bad at charms.**

**_Moony! You're destroying my argument!_**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that you didn't have much of one to begin with._

**Mr. Moony thinks we should just leave Prongs alone. If he wants to brood, let him brood.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't like this plan. He'll just brood himself up into such a foul mood that it's_** **_us who'll get pummeled in Quidditch tonight. Not a good plan at all._**

And at the rate he's going, Mr. Padfoot will deserve it by then.

**Padfoot, leave him alone.**

**_What? It's not my fault he's Slytherin green with envy!_**

_Uh oh. Not a good move, Padfoot._

**Mr. Moony wonders if Mr. Padfoot has a death wish.**

Mr. Prongs wonders if Mr. Padfoot knows exactly how easy it is to make it all look like an accident in this class.

**_Mr. Padfoot is, ah, well aware._**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Padfoot ought to start running._

**Mr. Moony advises Mr. Prongs to calm down.**

Calm down? How can I calm down? He was standing there in the middle of the Great Hall with his great big paws all over her!

**_Mr. Padfoot resents that. Paws are nice. Not what that Willis idiot has._**

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot to just grow up and leave Prongs to brood.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is not very willing to do anything Mr. Moony wants right now._**

**Oh? And why is that?**

**_Because you turned me into a sheep last week!_**

**Mr. Moony stands by that excellent decision. You deserved it.**

**_Mr. Padfoot has no clue what he might have done to deserve an existence as a puffy white cotton ball._**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that cotton is a plant. If anything, Mr. Padfoot was a wool-ball._

**_Shut up, Wormtail. That's not even a thing._**

Mr. Prongs finds Mr. Padfoot's ignorance on the topic of sheep rather amusing.

**Shut up, Prongs. I thought you were busy brooding over there.**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to mention that Miss Evans and Mr. Willis look quite happy over there._

That little—

**That was ****not**** helpful, Wormtail.**

**_Mr. Padfoot suggests decapitation as a proper punishment for the rogue who dares talk to Miss Evans._**

Mr. Prongs actually doesn't think that's a bad idea. What does she see in him?

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't know. He supposes Willis sees whatever you see, Prongs._**

Mr. Prongs wishes Evans were less attractive.

**Mr. Moony sincerely hopes Mr. Prongs is never idiotic enough to say that to her face.**

What? Mr. Prongs doesn't appreciate competition!

**Mr. Moony doesn't think she would appreciate that comment.**

**_Mr. Padfoot suggests Mr. Prongs tell her this when he's around to watch._**

_Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Moony. Miss Evans would not find that amusing at all._

Mr. Prongs would like Mr. Moony's professional opinion.

**Yes?**

How likely is it that I'd get away with it if I hexed Willis right now?

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders why it is that _****_Moony_****_ has the professional knowledge of this matter._**

Mr. Prongs wasn't aware Mr. Padfoot was in the habit of thinking about whether he'd get in trouble or not.

_Mr. Wormtail agrees that Mr. Padfoot is a tad bit impulsive._

**_Mr. Padfoot sees your point. Carry on. What do you think, Moony?_**

**Mr. Moony is certain that Miss Evans would report the hex immediately. She's been glaring at you Prongs.**

Mr. Prongs is hurt and wonders whatever he did to deserve such treatment.

**_Mr. Padfoot can't be sure, but he suspects it might have something to do with all the time you've spent glaring at Willis._**

**Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Prongs should just try to ignore them. This brooding and glaring isn't helping anything.**

Mr. Prongs wonders if Evans is actually dating this dimwit.

**_Mr. Padfoot has not heard anything to that effect. You can rest easy now, Prongs._**

**Mr. Moony had not seen them like this before today.**

Mr. Prongs wonders if maybe she's hoping for someone to save her from Willis' attention.

**Mr. Moony doubts it.**

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks it would be a very bad idea for Prongs to do whatever he's thinking of doing right now._**

No! It would be perfect. I'd ask her out and she'd be so desperate to escape him that she'd accept!

**Mr. Moony doubts she's that desperate.**

Hey!

**_Mr. Padfoot is absolutely certain that plan would not work._**

_Mr. Wormtail asks why Mr. Padfoot is so certain._

**_Because Evans wouldn't let a guy she was desperate to get away from kiss her cheek like that._**

He did WHAT?!

**_Relax Prongs. It was just a kiss on the cheek._**

Relax!? I can't relax! I'll kill him putting his filthy… ahhhhhh.

**Mr. Moony doubts Miss Evans will ever be interested in dating Mr. Prongs after that little display.**

**_Mr. Padfoot thought it was amusing._**

_Mr. Wormtail is rather terrified._

**Really Prongs. There was no need to start screaming and beating your head on the desk.**

**_Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Prongs to remember the useful advice he gave last week about forceful head-to-desk contact._**

Mr. Prongs' head hurts.

**_Mr. Padfoot suggests Mr. Prongs ask to go to the hospital wing. Then you can get away from Willis and we can be spared of your foul mood._**

Mr. Prongs thanks his friends for their support in his time of struggle as he takes his leave of them.

[Prongs leaves for the Hospital Wing for a headache cure.]

**_Good riddance. _**

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot not to be mean.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is justified in his reaction. Now that the foul mood humors have left, maybe his charm will work. One second…_**

**And it evidently wasn't the foul mood humors… **

**_Shut up, Moony._**

* * *

**A/N:** Oh dear, poor Padfoot. He'll get it eventually. We hope. :) Now for just a few orders of business:

Poll is still open. I'm still taking ideas if you have them, but I have no guarantees. I love all of you.

I have to give a shoutout here to **LeahLumos**. Okay, so she has this blog at fanfiction freakout DOT blog spot DOT com. (Just take out the spaces and use actual dots.) It's got recommendations for great Harry Potter fics and she was kind enough to mention me there. SO, you should all go check it out. Please. As a favor. I love you, Miss Lumos. Thank you so much. [Aside to Miss Lumos: Miss Esin offers her sincerest thanks and squeals of happiness.]

**Notice:** I know a lot of people get annoyed when reviewers point out every little mistake and typo in their story. _I am not one of them_. Please, please, please, if there is an error in one of my stories, PM me or mention it in a review. I'd appreciate if it you were nice about it, but I'd like to know. I do not have a beta for any of my stories and I know I make mistakes. I do the best I can, but I'm human. But I do want to fix these things. So I hereby am asking for nit-picky reviews! Thanks :)

Thanks and I love you all. Remember: reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

~esin


	19. Two Weeks for Revenge

**A/N: **Terribly sorry for the late post, people, but I was reading one of my short stories aloud today and that was right over my usual posting time.

Today my lovely reviewers get giant cream puffs. :) And these lovely people are: _LeahLumos, The Imaginatrix, Katniss Lestrange, 4everbookworm, shewolf2000, The Demigod Gryffindor, WingDawn98, Wizbef, Guest, Jointed98, LoneStorm, _and _Minie Dumbledore._Thank you all. And thank you to favorites and follows, because I haven't said that in a while. You mean a lot to me as well.

**Wizbef**: Thank you so much. Lucky you to have your very own group of Marauders. I don't have much of a life either, and don't worry, updates won't stop. :)

**Minie Dumbledore**: You're very welcome and thank you for kind words. I love it when people go on about and directly react to my stories. It can mean so much more than just saying that they liked it. Thanks. And you get credit for this chapter. Thanks :)

**Guest**: Okay, so first, I'd like to thank you for your reviews. I always appreciate getting them and I'm glad you took the time to leave them. But I would like to say a few things. First, I'm sorry you don't like Marlene. I have a lot of readers who do, and I do as well. I'm not a strong Sirius/Marlene shipper, I just thought it worked for the sake of this story. Second, it explicitly says in the books that James was Head Boy. I'm sticking as close as I can to canon in this story and wanted to keep it that way. You're entitled to your opinion about Remus, but it's not canon, so I'm going to keep it as it is. Third, I have read the Harry Potter books over and over (in the ballpark of 30 times each) and I have never, ever read any conclusive evidence that teenage Sirius was a player. If you have evidence, please tell me and I will revise my position. There are several commonly accepted theories for teenage Sirius in fanfiction, but there is no canon obligation to stick to one of them. Marlene will continue to show up every so often in this story as far as I've planned. This could change, of course. I'm open to plot bunnies. I'm sorry if this causes you to not read this story anymore. I'd be sorry to lose you. But I hope you can understand my position. Thanks again for your reviews, it's nice to have to think about my story enough to defend my decisions to someone. Thank you.

Credit for this chapter idea goes to **Minie Dumbledore**.

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: Two Weeks for Revenge

In Transfiguration…

Mr. Prongs is relieved and happy with how that turned out.

**_Mr. Padfoot is glad too. What did you end up with?_**

Two weeks of detention with McGonagall and a formal apology letter.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders how that's a good thing. Two weeks!_**

Mr. Prongs was expecting much worse. He did send Willis to the hospital wing.

**Mr. Moony hopes Mr. Prongs is pleased with himself.**

Mr. Prongs is very pleased with himself indeed.

**_Mr. Padfoot is amused by Mr. Moony's disapproval._**

**Mr. Moony is just rather annoyed that Mr. Prongs lowered himself to that level.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is confused. Mr. Moony had no problems with this sort of thing last year._**

**Last year Prongs was not Head Boy.**

Mr. Prongs has already apologized to Evans and McGonagall. However, he does not regret his actions.

**_Mr. Padfoot sees no reason for regret. Willis deserves it._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what you all are talking about._

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders if Mr. Wormtail could possibly be more oblivious._**

_Mr. Wormtail has better things to think about._

**_Mr. Padfoot can't think of anything more important than this conversation._**

_That is because Transfiguration comes easily to Mr. Padfoot. Mr. Wormtail actually feels the_ _need to pay attention._

Mr. Prongs is proud to say that he has dueled Adam Willis and successfully flayed the rogue within an inch of his life for his advances upon Mr. Prongs' true love.

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to amend that the flaying wasn't quite that bad. Willis might have to spend a few more days in the hospital, that's all._**

Ah, vengeance is sweet.

**Mr. Moony seriously doubts that Lily Evans can be your true love if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, Prongs.**

Mr. Prongs is confident that Miss Evans loves him. She is in denial of her feelings. That is all.

**And that ego is sure to win her over.**

Mr. Prongs does not appreciate Mr. Moony's pessimistic mood. He has much hope for his relationship with Miss Evans. We're not killing each other during patrols anymore!

**Most people would find the part where you used to be killing each other a deterrent.**

Mr. Prongs treasures any moment he has with Miss Evans. Even if she's yelling at him.

**_Mr. Padfoot is exceptionally glad Miss McKinnon doesn't yell at him often. She's almost as scary as Lily._**

**Mr. Moony was actually under the impression Mr. Padfoot enjoyed his occasional fights with Miss McKinnon.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is unsure what Mr. Moony is talking about._**

Mr. Prongs believes he's referencing the last time when the two of you stumbled into the common room at three in the morning, looking a bit worse for wear.

**_Mr. Padfoot edits his previous statement: it's not fun when she's actually yelling at him. It's after the yelling that's much more enjoyable._**

**Mr. Moony wishes to move off of this topic.**

_Mr. Wormtail wouldn't mind that either._

**Mr. Moony thinks it would be better to discuss what sort of things we—Padfoot, Wormtail, and I—could do in the next two weeks.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't like planning ahead. Can't we just make it all up as we go along?_**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't think Moony was actually interested in planning this out. He's making_ _a point._

**_Oh._**

Mr. Prongs absolutely forbids any of you to have fun in his absence.

**Why not? You've brought this upon yourself.**

Mr. Prongs is happily enjoying his revenge. He doesn't want Mr. Moony to spoil it.

**Mr. Moony thinks that Mr. Prongs deserves anything he gets. He's supposed to be better than this.**

Mr. Prongs wishes he weren't Head Boy sometimes.

**_Mr. Padfoot reminds Mr. Prongs that being Head Boy is what allows him the most time with Miss Evans._**

Oh. Right. Mr. Prongs now remembers why he agreed to this mad position. Miss Evans with her hair of flame and her eyes…

_Mr. Wormtail gets the picture. You can stop now Prongs._

Her skin is the finest porcelain in color but is velvet to the touch…

**_Mr. Padfoot is starting to get scared. Please stop, Prongs._**

When she speaks it is like the pealing of little bells…

**Mr. Moony is wondering when Mr. Prongs was close enough to Miss Evans to gather all this information about her.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is wondering what sort of things Mr. Prongs has been reading if he's describing Miss Evans like that._**

_Mr. Wormtail sometimes wishes he were not included in these conversations._

Mr. Prongs admits that his descriptions of Miss Evans are the product of his imagination.

**_Mr. Padfoot does not want to foray any further into that imagination._**

_Mr. Wormtail agrees._

**Mr. Moony hopes the imaginings of Miss Evans are enough to keep Mr. Prongs company for the next two weeks as he serves detention for being an idiot.**

Mr. Prongs wishes Mr. Moony didn't have to remind him.

**_Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Prongs not to be ridiculous. Mr. Moony is going to milk this for all it's worth._**

Mr. Prongs was afraid of that. But nonetheless, revenge is sweet, very sweet.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. :) But it's late and I'm multitasking this posting with a movie, so I will see you all next week!

**Notice:** I know a lot of people get annoyed when reviewers point out every little mistake and typo in their story. _I am not one of them_. Please, please, please, if there is an error in one of my stories, PM me or mention it in a review. I'd appreciate if it you were nice about it, but I'd like to know. I do not have a beta for any of my stories and I know I make mistakes. I do the best I can, but I'm human. But I do want to fix these things. So I hereby am asking for nit-picky reviews! Thanks :)

Love you all and thank you for all the reviews this week :) Happy summer to all fellow students who are now on break!

Reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

-esin


	20. Battle of the Heroes

**A/N:** So, this is possibly my favorite chapter so far. I don't know what you guys will think, but here it is!

Lovely reviewers, you are amazing. Thank you. Both to you and all my other readers. (I don't say enough how much I love all my readers. You guys rock. Siriusly.) This week, the following people get a generous piece of shortbread (with or without dark chocolate on top-you can review with your preference for virtual sweets): _LeahLumos, Lonestorm, The Demigod Gryffindor, Katniss Lestrange, 4everbookworm, WingDawn98, jointed98, Catheline, _and _Minie Dumbledore_.

**Minie Dumbledore**: Wow, you're my only guest this week! Thanks so much. You always leave long, detailed, and kind things. And you have great ideas for this. Thanks so much! :D Moony always has a point, even if it was worth it. And, yes Prongs is creepy, yes, he stalks Lily, and no, I don't want to think about where he got inspiration for those descriptions. We'll certainly get more Jily as the year moves on, but I don't know how soon. My plan if very loose. New chapters keep inserting themselves in the middle of it. Thanks so much :D

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty: Battle of the Heroes

In Defense Against the Dark Arts…

**_Mr. Padfoot directs his army of gryphons to attack Mr. Prongs' army from the east, creating a deadlock for the ogres._**

Mr. Prongs has his archers shoot down the gryphons and then serve them as a delicacy in his camp that night.

**_Mr. Padfoot objects to this action. You can't just get rid of them!_**

Mr. Prongs is at liberty to do whatever he likes. He then sends his chimaera to stalk Mr. Padfoot's right flank while advancing his cavalry in the center of the front line.

**_Mr. Padfoot sends a champion to slay Mr. Prongs' chimaera._**

Mr. Prongs' chimaera burns Mr. Padfoot's so-called champion to a crisp.

**_Mr. Padfoot's men mourn the loss of their champion and swear vengeance against Mr._** **_Prongs' chimaera._**

Mr. Prongs' chimaera is a fearsome beast. No man or champion has managed to slay it!

**Mr. Moony thinks that would be obvious as Mr. Prongs' chimaera is still alive.**

Mr. Prongs was making a dramatic point. No need to point out logical holes, Moony old chap.

**_Mr. Padfoot isn't sure what to make of "old chap". It's weird._**

Mr. Prongs just felt like saying it.

_Mr. Wormtail is most confused as to what is going on. What's a chimaera and why does Prongs have one?_

**A chimaera is an old mythological creature that breathes fire and is part dragon, part lion, and part goat.**

_So they don't exist?_

**No, you can still find some in Greece, I believe. They're a class XXXXX dangerous species and nearly impossible to kill.**

_Mr. Wormtail does not like the sound of that._

Mr. Padfoot and I are studying for Care of Magical Creatures, you see.

_Oh. Mr. Wormtail is surprised to see that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are studying._

Mr. Prongs asks Mr. Wormtail not to be silly. Padfoot and I are taking all the same classes as you. Taking care we're not taking Care of Magical Creatures!

_Mr. Wormtail knew that. He was just, ah, playing along._

**_While Mr. Prongs is distracted, Mr. Padfoot's rear guard of dark centaurs sneaks up from behind and attacks his right flank._**

Mr. Prongs' men spring into action and release a baby dragon to eliminate Mr. Padfoot's centaurs. Once again, Mr. Padfoot's men are burnt to a crisp!

**_The remains of Mr. Padfoot's army make a hasty retreat and start searching for a dragon slayer._**

Mr. Prongs sincerely hopes this champion is better than the last one. His dragon is in want of a workout.

**_Mr. Padfoot's champions are amazing. It's Mr. Prongs' beasts that need to tone it down a bit._**

No chance.

_Mr. Wormtail again asks what is going on._

**_We're playing a game, Wormtail. It's me verses Prongs. I'm going to wipe the blood of his men off the battle field with his dead body._**

**Mr. Moony really didn't want that mental image. That's disgusting.**

Mr. Prongs denies the possibility of that. Mr. Padfoot will flee and surrender first! Mr. Prongs is fighting for his fair maiden and will not be defeated!

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't think that Miss Evans will kiss Mr. Prongs for winning this._

Why ever not?

**Because it's an imaginary game and she's just not that into you, Prongs.**

Mr. Prongs is hurt.

**Mr. Moony still advises that Mr. Prongs not ask for a kiss upon his victory. It won't help your already sorry and pathetic situation.**

Mr. Prongs will reluctantly take that under advisement.

**_Mr. Padfoot's champions gather as a group at dawn to face off both the baby dragon and the chimaera._**

Mr. Prongs' forces ready themselves for the easy task of taking out Mr. Padfoot's pathetic army.

**_Mr. Padfoot's army is fiercer than you imagine._**

No it isn't.

**_Yes it is._**

No it isn't.

**_Yes it is._**

Isn't.

**_Is._**

Isn't.

**_Is._**

Isn't.

**_Is._**

Isn't.

**_Is._**

Isn't.

**_Is._**

**GUYS!**

**_Yes? _**

**Cut it out.**

Yes, Mum.

**_Mr. Padfoot's men start closing in on the chimaera._**

Mr. Prongs' chimaera is hungry and looks forward to devouring the carcasses coming toward it.

**_Mr. Padfoot releases a wyvern to attack the baby dragon. The two become locked in a desperate struggle._**

Mr. Prongs' baby dragon is rescued by his new pegasus.

**_Hey! You can't steal my pegasus!_**

I just did.

**_Mr. Padfoot's men start in an inquiry as to how Mr. Prongs managed to steal his pegasus._**

Mr. Prongs considers an inquiry pointless. However he accomplished it, the pegasus was Mr. Padfoot's only hope of defeating the chimaera.

**Mr. Moony releases a deadly contagion over both armies that infects all the men and creatures and kills them within a few minutes. He wins.**

**_Mr. Padfoot declares this action cowardly and totally against the rules._**

Mr. Prongs concurs. That's not allowed!

**Mr. Moony doesn't care. He is victorious and tired of this game.**

**_Spoil sport._**

**Yes, yes, I know. But I still won.**

* * *

**A/N:** First things first: brownie points and extra shortbread to anyone who can tell me what the chapter title is a reference to! :D

I really, really loved this chapter. It was a blast to write. I hope you guys liked it too. I wouldn't be opposed to doing other games and fantasies such as this in the future, just say so if you'd like it too. Or if you want to see certain creatures on the battlefield. I could, I dunno, do like a sea battle or something crazy. Taking requests now. And I will take chapter requests if you all have brilliant ideas!

Reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

-esin


	21. Padfoot and the Whole World

**A/N:** Hello to all you marvelous people :D

General Service Announcement: You remember the whole brownie points for guessing the reference in the chapter title of the last chapter? Yeah... you all thought it was Percy Jackson. And now I realize why you all thought that. I actually meant it to be Star Wars. The battle sequence between Anakin and Obi-Wan in Episode III is known as Battle of the Heroes. But I guess you only know that if you listen to the soundtrack... so, yeah. Oh well! Good guesses! :D

I. Am. Amazed. The response to the last chapter was awesome. 14 reviews. Seriously people. Thank you so much. That's the most I've ever gotten on a single chapter. So, in reward, you all get banana splits. With this awesome chocolate sauce (otherwise known as fudgy-fudge) that my mom makes from scratch and it's soooo heavenly. Yep. That's for you awesome people: _prankprincess123, LoneStorm _(and double for your lovely PM), _The Demigod Gryffindor, Fizzy Fitz, Catheline, 4everbookworm, Wizbef, LeahLumos, Katniss Lestrange, Jointed98, The Imaginatrix, _and _Minie Dumbledore_.

**Wizbef**: Two reveiws :D They make me happy :D It's actually kinda based off me and my brothers, and yeah, I'm the one releasing the contagion. Cause I'm awesome. :D Thanks for the lovely words. But actually, it's not Percy Jackson. Everyone thought that. And it wasn't until then that I realized how that was logical... oops. Lol. Have fun on your roof. And don't fall off. I'd miss you. Thanks :D

**Jointed98**: Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying this :D

**Minie Dumbledore**: Thanks for both your reviews :D They're always lovely. Yes, it was a nice change of pace. We need that every once in a while. Awwwwwww. You make me so happy. Have so much fun on vacation and I promise these will be waiting for you when you return. I'll see what I can do about pumpkin pie next week. Thank you soooo much and see you when you get back! :D

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

-esin

* * *

:Chapter Twenty-One: Padfoot and the Whole World

In Muggle Studies…

**Mr. Moony really wishes that Mr. Padfoot would cease making rendezvous with Miss McKinnon on nights that he is on patrol. By now he has seen more of both of you than he ever wanted too.**

**_Mr. Padfoot supposes he could try to do something._**

**Mr. Moony wants a bit more than "try".**

**_Mr. Padfoot understands Mr. Moony's distress, but cannot make guarantees. After all, memorizing Moony's patrol schedule and then reorganizing spontaneous dates around it would require an awful lot of work._**

Heaven forbid that Padfoot do any work, of course.

**Mr. Moony has a simple solution: nix these dates all together.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is horrified by that suggestion._**

Mr. Prongs wonders why Mr. Moony is so upset about this now.

**Because it's been twice in the past week!**

**_Mr. Padfoot considers these the benefits of having a long-term girlfriend._**

**Mr. Moony does not want to hear about it.**

Mr. Prongs thinks that many of Mr. Moony's problems with Padfoot's snogging habits would be solved if he got himself a girlfriend.

**Mr. Moony disagrees.**

**_Yeah, Moony! You need a girl. Seriously._**

**This conversation is over.**

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Moony would be good with Miss—_**

**Mr. Moony has not yet forgiven Mr. Padfoot and wishes that he be mindful of that.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony should ask that one Ravenclaw prefect out. You spend an awful lot of time patrolling with her.

**Mr. Moony has one question: has Padfoot snogged her?**

**_Uh…yes? _**

**Then he's not interested.**

Great. Now we're down to girls Padfoot hasn't snogged. This is impossible.

**_You do realize that this means you're limited to my evil family members now? _**

**Mr. Moony is sure that there is a perfectly nice girl out there somewhere that Padfoot hasn't snogged.**

Mr. Prongs suggests that Mr. Moony leave the country then. Go somewhere nice. Like… I dunno… Paris.

**Why Paris?**

Mr. Prongs just said the first thing that came to mind.

**_Mr. Padfoot hates to put a damper on the idea, but his family has vacationed in Paris multiple times and he's had several lovely summer romances…_**

**Mr. Moony is rather appalled that finding a girl who hasn't snogged Padfoot is this difficult.**

**_Mr. Padfoot supposes that there's always Miss Evans._**

Absolutely not.

**_But then, there's that, so I guess not._**

Mr. Prongs wishes to remind Mr. Moony that Miss Evans does have a muggle sister. She's quite, er, ah, tolerable.

**_Mr. Padfoot wishes Mr. Prongs would stop trying to make Petunia Evans sound like a decent person. And for the record, I kissed her too._**

YOU WHAT?!

**Mr. Moony is shocked and rather disgusted. He has only seen the elder Miss Evans from a distance, but has seen enough to convince him that she is not a pleasant person.**

Mr. Prongs asks how and when this happened.

**_Mr. Padfoot only did it to freak her out. It was the summer before sixth year when you and I went to surprise Lily. While she was yelling at you, Prongs, the muggle girl was making rude comments about me being a wizard. So, to annoy her as much as she was annoying me, I kissed her._**

**Mr. Moony is appalled. You didn't even like her!**

**_Yeah. But returning her yelling was only going to give her satisfaction. Kissing her didn't._**

Mr. Prongs is wondering how he missed this.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks that might have to do with how sexy Mr. Prongs finds Lily Evans when she's mad at him._**

True…

**Mr. Moony is interested to know what Miss Petunia Evans did to Mr. Padfoot for kissing her.**

**_She slapped me across the face and headed back into her house. She was definitely one of the worst kisses I've ever had. Certainly in the bottom five._**

Mr. Prongs is not surprised. That she slapped you or that she's a horrible kisser. After all, she and her sister are opposites in every way…

**Mr. Moony really doesn't want to think about Lily Evans' kissing ability.**

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders how Mr. Prongs knows that Lily Evans is a good kisser._**

He doesn't. But he is sure she is just as wonderful a kisser as she is everything else.

**Mr. Moony has now given up. He will never find a girl who hasn't kissed his best friend.**

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks that's about right._**

Mr. Prongs offers his most sincere sympathy. And advises that the contents of this conversation be kept from a certain Miss McKinnon.

**Mr. Moony has just thought of the most excellent revenge for Mr. Padfoot's ruination of his future love life.**

**_Noooooo! Please Moony! Anything! I'll give you anything. Please?_**

**Mr. Moony doesn't think even Mr. Padfoot can turn back time and un-kiss all those girls.**

Mr. Prongs finds Mr. Padfoot's new predicament very amusing indeed.

**_Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Moony for a way out of dealing with an annoyed and jealous girlfriend._**

**Mr. Moony wonders why Mr. Padfoot is bothered. It's not like he's cheated on Marlene or anything. All those kisses were before he began dating her.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is still worried that she might be reminded._**

Mr. Prongs suggests Mr. Padfoot start offering silence bribes now.

**Mr. Moony is looking forward to what he might gain for his silence.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is scared._**

**He should be.**

* * *

**A/N:** So. Hope you all enjoyed that. Padfoot... *shakes head* tut tut tut. What are we going to do with him?

Thanks for everyone's ideas and requests for future chapters. You guys come up with great stuff. I love you all. :D

Reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

-esin


	22. Worst Plan Ever

A/N: Reviewers are lovely. So, this week, you all get pumpkin pie (in honor of Minie Dumbledore): _Russia Tashi Lupin, The Imaginatrix, 4everbookworm, Vicki Carter, LeahLumos, LoneStorm, Invisiblegirl3, PjoHPLSR, Irishdanceringrulz1776, Katniss Lestrange, _and _The Demigod Gryffindor_. Thank you all and hello to several new faces! I passed 200 reviews this week and am so grateful and excited. Thanks guys! :D *love and hugs*

**_Mr. Padfoot/Sirius Black-Bold Italic_**

**Mr. Moony/Remus Lupin-Bold**

Mr. Prongs/James Potter-Plain

_Mr. Wormtail/Peter Pettigrew-Italic_

(Do I need to keep posting that at the top? I think you have it. I'll stop next chapter unless someone asks for it.)

-esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two: Worst Plan Ever

In Potions…

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are whispering about over there._

**_Mr. Padfoot requests that Mr. Wormtail keep his big, fat nose out of other people's business._**

_Mr. Wormtail did not mean to offend. He was only inquiring._

Mr. Prongs begs Mr. Padfoot not to be rude. Mr. Wormtail is a friend. We ought to welcome him.

**_Mr. Padfoot maintains that the subject of Mr. Prongs' and his conversation is not something Mr. Wormtail need be concerned about._**

_Mr. Wormtail only likes to be in the know._

Mr. Prongs is not opposed to telling Mr. Wormtail.

**_Mr. Padfoot does not think that is a wise idea._**

Why not?

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks that there are some things that should not be repeated in the hearing of those who might decide to spoil certain… aspects of a plan._**

Mr. Prongs understands now. Yes, he had not thought of that.

_What?_

**_Mr. Padfoot does not consider it wise to discuss delicate matters openly when Mr. Moony is in such a bad mood._**

Mr. Prongs shares the worry that Mr. Moony might decide to put the kibosh on their ideas.

_Mr. Wormtail now wishes he had a different potions partner._

**_Speaking of Moony, where is he?_**

Mr. Prongs wonders as well. It's not like him to let such hints of rule-breaking slide under his nose like this. What's he doing, Wormy?

_He says he doesn't want to talk to either of you._

**_Mr. Padfoot is offended. Who wouldn't want to talk to him?_**

Mr. Prongs wonders what they've supposedly done now.

_He says that he's still mad at you for last night and doesn't want to deal with you while he's worn out because the full moon is tonight._

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks that's sad._**

Mr. Prongs promises that they didn't mean any harm by it.

**_Come on Moony! Talk to us!_**

Mr. Prongs begs Mr. Moony to talk to him. He doesn't like it when his Moony is mad at him.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders when Moony came to belong to Mr. Prongs._**

Mr. Prongs sees nothing wrong with that expression. He's our Moony.

**_You make him sound like a lost puppy. Or a goldfish._**

_Mr. Wormtail finds the image of Mr. Moony as a goldfish a rather hilarious one._

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders what the wolf might think about being in a little bowl of water._**

Mr. Prongs doesn't think wolves swim very well.

**Mr. Moony wishes his friends would shut up and work on their potions.**

Ah! Moony! How lovely of you to join us!

**_Mooooooony! I miiiissssseeed yooooou!_**

Mr. Prongs supposes that Mr. Moony is now very glad to be on the other side of the room. That would have had a bear hug attached if Mr. Moony had been any closer.

**_Mr. Padfoot is too manly to give bear hugs._**

**Mr. Moony seriously doubts that.**

_Mr. Wormtail wants to put it out there that he refuses to relay any bear hugs from Mr. Padfoot. He draws the line before humiliating himself in such a manner._

**Mr. Moony would rip Mr. Wormtail to shreds if he tried such a thing.**

**_Oooh. Somebody's grumpy._**

**You'll shut up, Padfoot, if you know what's good for you.**

Mr. Prongs had hoped that Mr. Moony's anger might have cooled by now.

**_Mr. Padfoot has been trying to forget that Mr. Moony is so angry at them._**

_Mr. Wormtail actually thinks Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs rather deserve this treatment._

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders why on earth that might be._**

**Because SOME PEOPLE are idiotic to the point where they don't even stop to THINK that their actions might have CONSEQUENCES.**

Mr. Prongs apologizes. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

**Of course it did. And because it was such a "good" idea, you never thought long enough to realize that it was an incredibly stupid and horrible idea! **

**_Come on, Moony! We're just trying to help you!_**

**And asking a sixth year to pull me into a broom closet for a snog because I apparently "like" her and then locking the two of us in there for an hour is helpful? What universe do you freakin' come from?**

**_Mr. Padfoot was certain it would work in everyone's best interests._**

Mr. Prongs wonders what exactly went so wrong.

**Well, there's the part where I wasn't even interested in her in the first place. Then there's the part where she started crying when she figured that out. Then there's the part where I'm not going to snog some random girl I'm not interested in. Then there's the part where I actually had other responsibilities last night that didn't get taken care of because I was LOCKED in broom closet for an HOUR with a broken-hearted girl and it's ALL YOUR FAULTS.**

**_Mr. Padfoot hadn't thought of it quite like that before…_**

Mr. Prongs figures that now would be a good time to beg Mr. Moony's forgiveness.

_Mr. Wormtail swears he had nothing to do with the whole scheme._

**Mr. Moony will consider forgiveness, but not until after the full moon. He's too angry and lousy-feeling to think clearly.**

**_Mr. Padfoot only regrets that their scheme didn't work._**

And that, Padfoot, is why you aren't going to be forgiven.

* * *

**A/N:** So, a bit of a more serious chapter, but I hope you all liked it anyway.

I'm going on vacation in July, but I will keep posting. In fact, if I don't or forget, I want you all to send me nasty PMs until I do. :D Please. I don't want to forget you. If I can't post on Friday, I'll post on Thursday and I want you guys to hold me to that. Thanks :D

Reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

-esin


	23. The Sound of Music

**A/N:** Hello to all from my vacation! (I've convinced everyone they can go on without me and I can hang out at the library today cause it's got wifi. :D It's a good deal all around.)

My reviewers are amazing and get blackberry pie this week: _Russia Tashi Lupin, The Demigod Gryffindor, LoneStorm, 4everbookworm, The Imaginatrix, LeahLumos, shovelgirlERB000, M. S. Franklin , MissiB, Minie Dumbledore_, and _Katniss Lestrange_. **shovelgirlERB000** and **MissiB **get special shout-outs because they're awesome and reviewed almost every chapter just this week. Thanks guys and glad to have you! :D

**Minie Dumbledore**: Hey! It's great to see you again! Sorry there isn't more bribing of Moony, but I was having trouble getting that chapter finished as it was... i think having some full moon stuff would be excellent, but it's hard to work in because they wouldn't necessarily discuss that sort of thing in class. If you remember earlier, they were hesitant to even discuss Moony's "furry little problem". There's just so much of a chance that someone might see over their shoulders. I'm not saying it won't happen, but it will be hard. I hope this chapter has enough crazy Marauders for you!

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three: The Sound of Music

In Charms…

_Mr. Wormtail wonders how Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs can possibly intend to pass this term._

**_Mr. Padfoot finds the answer to that simple: exactly like we do every other term._**

Mr. Prongs doesn't see why Mr. Wormtail is worried about that now.

**Mr. Moony presumes it must have something to do with the fact that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are once again off task.**

Mr. Prongs denies that he and Mr. Padfoot are off task.

**Mr. Moony cannot possibly imagine how making your tea set perform as a jazz ensemble is on task.**

**_Mr. Padfoot admits that there is no actual singing…_**

Mr. Prongs wonders if we can make our tea set sing the Beatles.

**Mr. Moony wishes that his friends would simply follow the instructions. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and that's it, please.**

**Mr. Padfoot declares that too boring for our imaginations. At least our teacups are singing something interesting!**

Mr. Prongs thinks he and Mr. Padfoot should actually get extra credit for having the best-sounding teacups in the room.

_Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs do not in fact have the best-sounding teacups in the room._

**Mr. Moony agrees with that statement, actually.**

**_What?! Who dares usurp our singing teacup superiority?_**

No! It cannot be! We must find this rogue and smash pumpkins upon his head!

**Mr. Moony does not think Mr. Prongs will actually want to carry through with that threat.**

Why not?

**Because it is Miss Evans' talented teacups that are besting yours.**

**_So?_**

Padfoot!

**_What?_**

We're not going to smash pumpkins on Lily's head!

**_Why not? I was looking forward to it…_**

**Mr. Moony thinks this might have something to do with the fact that this is Miss Evans' head. Mr. Prongs is rather attached to it.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't see why he can't smash pumpkins against it. Really, if it hurts her maybe she'll let Prongs here nurse her back to health!_**

_Mr. Wormtail doubts it would work out that way._

No, she'd probably think it was my idea—which it was—and then refuse to speak to me for a week again.

**_Mr. Padfoot still wants to throw pumpkins at her head._**

I said NO.

**Mr. Moony must admit that he is very impressed with Miss Evans. Her teacup is perfectly in tune and everything.**

**_What is it singing?!_**

_My ears…_

It's beautiful…

**_Shut up, Prongs. You're only saying that because it's Evans' teacup._**

Am not!

**_Admit it: it sounds like a dying cat._**

Actually, it doesn't. It's beautiful. What is it, Moony?

**Mr. Moony has to agree with Mr. Prongs. It's quite beautiful. Miss Evans' teacup is doing a fabulous job.**

**_The song, Moony! Tell us the song!_**

**Fine. It's the "Aria of the Queen of the Night" from ****Die Zauberflöte****.**

**_Huh?_**

_Dee whatsa?_

**Mr. Moony despairs at the cultural ignorance of his companions.**

**_If you tell us what it is, then we won't be ignorant anymore._**

**Mr. Moony supposes so. Fine. It's an opera by Mozart. It's in German, and the title translates "The Magic Flute".**

**_It still doesn't ring any bells._**

Mr. Prongs is not surprised.

**_What? Do you know it?_**

Mr. Prongs can actually admit that yes, he does know this piece. His mother has a liking for muggle classical music.

**Mr. Moony is not at all surprised by Mrs. Potter's taste. She certainly seems the sort who would enjoy such a thing.**

Mr. Prongs is actually rather impressed that Miss Evans has managed to get her teacup to sing this. According to his mother, it's not an easy one.

**Mr. Moony thinks that maybe Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs should just admit that Miss Evans is better at Charms then the two of them.**

**_Mr. Padfoot will admit no such thing._**

_Mr. Wormtail really didn't know it was possible to sing this high… his ears…_

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees. Will someone shut that teacup up already?_**

**Mr. Moony was enjoying it.**

**_You would, Moony._**

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys liked it. You can find the song Lily's teacup is singing just be searching for "Aria of the Queen of the Night" on youtube or something. :D

Well, I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month and need to get back to writing so that The Imaginatrix doesn't completely kill me in this word war.

Love you all! Reviews = love and encouragement = more writing. Review?

~esin


	24. Gooey All Over My Face

**A/N: **I'm stealing a couple minutes on the internet here so this will be quick. Earlier update on request of M.S. Franklin.

So ice cream sundaes to reviewers: _4everbookworm, M.S. Franklin, The Demigod Gryffindor, LeahLumos, Catheline, shovelgirlERB000, MissiB,_ and _Minie Dumbledore_.

**Minie Dumbledore**: I didn't even think of the pumpkin joke... oh well. Yes, they're in 7th year and it will be just a few more chapters. I'm glad you understand. You're welcome and here you are! :D

Idea credit for this chapter goes to guest reviewer **Wizbef**.

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four: Gooey All Over My Face

In Defense Against the Dark Arts…

**Mr. Moony is perplexed by the specks of chocolate on Mr. Prongs' face.**

**_Mr. Padfoot seriously hopes Mr. Moony doesn't plan to lick them off._**

**PADFOOT!**

**_What?_**

**I'm not going to lick Prongs' face! Where would you ever get such an idea?!**

Mr. Prongs is very glad for this vehement refusal.

**_Mr. Padfoot only was thinking of how much Mr. Moony loves chocolate…_**

**I might love chocolate, but that does not mean I want to lick it off my best mate's face! That's revolting! How could you even suggest such a thing?**

_Mr. Wormtail is really glad we're establishing all this. He doesn't know how he would have lived any longer without knowing the specifics of Mr. Moony's love of chocolate._

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to remind Mr. Moony that he did not actually suggest that he lick Prongs' face. He only expressed his hope that Mr. Moony would do no such thing._**

**Same difference. **

Mr. Prongs would appreciate it if someone would get rid of this chocolate for him. It's not very nice. It's gooey and all over my face.

**_Mr. Padfoot is certain that Mr. Moony would be more than willing to offer his services._**

**PADFOOT!**

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to once again point out that he didn't specifically suggest anything untoward there. Mr. Moony is jumping to conclusions._**

**Mr. Moony thinks it shouldn't matter. We all know you were thinking it.**

_Mr. Wormtail is amazed at Mr. Moony's newfound ability in mind-reading._

**Mr. Moony does wonder how that chocolate came to be on Mr. Prongs' face.**

Mr. Prongs assures Mr. Moony that he did nothing to deserve it.

**_Mr. Padfoot is under the impression that Miss Evans would disagree._**

**What did you do now, Prongs?**

I wasn't doing anything! I swear!

_Mr. Wormtail seriously doubts that._

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders at Mr. Prongs' blindness. You were totally doing something._**

**Just tell me, Padfoot.**

**_He was flirting unashamedly with Evans again. What did you think?_**

I was not!

**_Oh? And asking her out and preening like a peacock isn't flirting now?_**

Well…

**_You were flirting with her, Prongs._**

**Mr. Moony fails to see what this flirting has to do with the chocolate on Prongs' face.**

**_Interested, are we? I'm sure it would taste soooo gooooood._**

**Padfoot, I'm warning you…**

**_Right. Right. Shutting up._**

**Good.**

Mr. Prongs admits that the chocolate is the fault of Miss Evans.

**How so?**

Mr. Prongs wasn't really doing anything.

**_Yeah, you were._**

Fine. Mr. Prongs was talking to her. And he might have asked her out. Several times.

**_Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Prongs not to forget the hair-ruffling._**

Oh yeah.

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks he counted at least a dozen passes through his hair in a two-minute conversation._**

**Then what?**

She… uh, took offense to my… comments. And decided to shove a piece of cake in my face before stalking off.

**Mr. Moony finds this very amusing indeed. He knew there was reason he liked Miss Evans.**

**_Because she gives him an opportunity to lick yummy chocolate off Prongs' face?_**

**NO.**

Mr. Prongs has no idea why Mr. Padfoot wants Moony to lick my face so badly, but it's really disturbing. Please stop?

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Padfoot would like to lick Mr. Prongs' face instead._

**_Ewwwwww! No!_**

**Mr. Moony wishes Mr. Padfoot were sitting a bit closer to him.**

**_Why?_**

**So I could hit you upside the head, you idiot!**

Mr. Prongs wonders why Mr. Wormtail is so snarky today.

_Mr. Wormtail had nightmares about Mrs. Norris last night. She was chasing me through the castle…_

**Mr. Moony offers his sympathies to Mr. Wormtail.**

Mr. Prongs does as well.

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to boast that Mrs. Norris has nightmares about him._**

_Mr. Wormtail does not find that helpful in the least._

**_Think about it this way, Wormtail. Chocolate might just cure this depression._**

_Mr. Wormtail supposes it might…_

**_Excellent. Prongs has some for you._**

_Mr. Wormtail should have seen that coming._

**Yes, he should have.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is surprised you didn't see that coming._**

**Mr. Moony wonders when Mr. Padfoot is going to realize that no one wants to lick Prongs' face. It's disgusting.**

Mr. Prongs thinks he actually has a rather nice face. But that doesn't mean he wants his friends to lick it.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders if Miss Evans would like to lick the chocolate off Prongs' face… That would have been a pretty awesome tactic on her part—_**

**PADFOOT!**

* * *

**A/N:** Okay. I have to run. Hope you like the chapter!

Review?

~esin


	25. What Are You Doing Here?

**A/N:** Okay, so due to the fact that I might not have internet until Sunday, I'm giving you a really, really early update. Be happy, people. I wrote this, edited it and am posting it in the space of four hours, so sorry if it's a bit rough.

Thank you to my reviewers, new and old. This week you can have seven-layer bars. :D These people are: _4everbookworm, HappilyBlue, MissiB, LoneStorm, M.S. Franklin, Katniss Lestrange, Minie Dumbledore, Sleepwalkingluna14, Harry's sister, Chocomaniac, 42-Worlds-Apart, Wizbef,_ and _Guest_.

**Minie Dumbledore**: I don't think Moony would. He's always had that proper streak to him... Thanks and I hope this chapter makes you happy...

**Harry's sister**: Hello! I'm glad and here's number 25. Number 26 should be a week from Friday cause this is an early update.

**Chocomaniac**: I'm glad :D Welcome and hope you enjoy this too!

**Wizbef**: Lovely to see you again! Thanks for the reviews (I'm assuming you just forgot to sign the last two. I have three from you, 22 and two on 24, right?) I'm glad you're happy with your request. And of course Prongs is going about this wrong. That's just who he is. :D

**Guest**: Hello! I'm glad you like it and I'll see what I can do. :D Hope you enjoy!

Credit for the idea for this chapter goes to **Irishdanceringrulz1776.**

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five: What Are _You_ Doing Here?

In Transfiguration…

**_Mr. Padfoot is half tempted just to cancel his subscription to the Daily Prophet. It's downright depressing these days._**

_Mr. Wormtail agrees. It's all death and destruction._

Mr. Prongs points out that what we're reading is the real world, even if it's depressing.

**_Mr. Padfoot knows that. But it doesn't mean he wants to read about it at breakfast. It puts a damper on his whole day._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why he reads it then. If it really is so torturous._

Mr. Prongs supposes it's because this is the world we're going to be part of in just a few months. We can't go into it completely ignorant, even if it would be easier to ignore it all now.

**Mr. Mooney is impressed with Mr. Prongs' maturity on this subject.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is shocked and horrified that Prongs has matured. What's happened to his best mate? Did they take him in the night and replace him with a good twin?_**

**Who's 'they'?**

**_The gremlins of course._**

**Mr. Moony is pretty sure gremlins don't actually exist.**

Mr. Prongs is just being reasonable. We're only going to be children for a little while longer.

**_So we have to enjoy while we can, right?_**

Exactly.

**And here Mr. Moony was actually thinking Mr. Prongs was worthwhile.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what Mr. Moony could possibly mean by that.

**Uh… nothing.**

**_Mr. Padfoot wishes he had a copy of the paper with him now, actually._**

_Mr. Wormtail thought Mr. Padfoot wanted to cancel his subscription._

**_Mr. Padfoot is saddened by the depressing content of the paper, but that doesn't mean he can't miss the crossword. And he left his copy in the dorm this morning. Now he has nothing to do in class._**

**Mr. Moony once again suggests that he pay attention.**

**_Mr. Padfoot feels that we've been over this already._**

**Mr. Moony was only suggesting it.**

Mr. Prongs is rather offended. Isn't talking to us a suitable classroom pastime?

**_Mr. Padfoot supposes so._**

**Mr. Moony wonders how any of you pass anything.**

**_Mr. Padfoot once again feels that we've been over this. Prongs and I are just that awesome._**

Except in Charms. Lily bested us in Charms.

**_Mr. Padfoot would use the term "bested" loosely. Her teacup sounded like a dying cat._**

Mr. Prongs disagrees. It was lovely. You just don't like opera, Padfoot.

_Mr. Wormtail is with Mr. Padfoot on this one._

**And Mr. Moony is with Mr. Prongs. He's sure Miss Evans would appreciate the complement.**

**_Mr. Padfoot feels that we've been missing something lately._**

**What is that?**

**_A good, proper, old-fashioned prank._**

_Mr. Wormtail agrees._

Mr. Prongs does realize that it's been a while.

**_Mr. Padfoot blames it all on Prongs' now boringness as Head Boy._**

Mr. Prongs refuses to have this argument again.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what Mr. Moony and Miss Evans are doing over there._

Mr. Prongs can't see them from here. Someone tell him what's going on!

**Mr. Moony doesn't know what Mr. Padfoot is talking about.**

**_Mr. Padfoot didn't say anything._**

_Yeah, Mr. Wormtail is the one who made that observation._

**Oops. Mr. Moony meant Mr. Wormtail.**

**_Mr. Padfoot demands to know what is going on. Mr. Moony is acting downright strange. And talking too closely with Miss Evans._**

**Mr. Moony breaks down and admits it.**

What?

**Mr. Moony has let Miss Evans borrow his pen and parchment for the duration of this conversation.**

What?! Traitor!

**_Moony! How could you!?_**

We trusted you!

**_You have betrayed the trust of the Marauders! _**

We ought to shun you, toss you out!

**Mr. Moony (really him this time) is patiently waiting for Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs to be finished.**

**_Mr. Padfoot counts this is a grievous wound to his very soul!_**

Mr. Prongs cannot believe Mr. Moony would stoop so low!

**Are you done yet?**

Fine.

**_Mr. Padfoot supposes we can stop now._**

Mr. Prongs had fun doing it though.

**Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are ridiculous. (And Miss Evans agrees.)**

_Mr. Wormtail knew something was up all along._

**_Well good for Mr. Wormtail._**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't think there's any reason to be snippy._

**Mr. Moony speaks on Miss Evans' behalf when he asks if Mr. Prongs actually meant all that about the paper and growing up.**

Mr. Prongs meant every word. On his honor as a Marauder.

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't believe there is much honor left to be had as a Marauder after this breach in security._**

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot to stop being melodramatic.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't know what that means, but he won't stop!_**

Mr. Prongs asks if Miss Evans is still eavesdropping.

**No, she's taking notes now.**

_Mr. Wormtail is not surprised._

Mr. Prongs then counts this as a success. She did say she was impressed with me…

**_Mr. Padfoot supposed Mr. Prongs would latch on to that little bit…_**

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you like the chapter. Thanks for bearing with me on vacation. This will be the last update before I get home. Then everything will be back to normal.

Love you all. Review please?

~esin

P.S. "Mooney" is purposely misspelled. Please continue to point out spelling and grammar errors though!


	26. Pretty Please?

**A/N:** Let's see... reviewers this week get... large bags of M&Ms :D

Thank you to the M&M winners: _LeahLumos, 4everbookworm, shovelgirlERB000, MissiB, The Demigod Gryffindor, M.S. Franklin, Irishdanceringrulz1776, Minie Dumbledore, _and _Harry's sister_. Thank you all. :)

**Minie Dumbledore**: I'm glad you enjoyed Lily. And no, James wouldn't mind. I'll see what I can do about pranks. It's another thing that's hard to do because it's usually off-screen for this story. :P Yes, the Marauders are definitely like the Weasley twins. My vacation was lovely, thanks for reviewing, and hope you enjoy the chapter.

**Harry's sister**: I'm glad you like it. Hope you enjoy this one too! :D

Credit for this chapter idea goes to **shovelgirlERB000**.

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six: Pretty Please?

Credit to shovelgirlERB000

In Charms…

_I'm really surprised that you're still passing notes._

_-Evans_

What? We always pass notes. You just haven't noticed.

-James

_But now I know your secret._

_-Evans_

**_Pssssst. Prongs! Who are you talking to?_**

Mr. Prongs wishes his friends would leave him alone for a moment.

**_Hey, Moony. You're sitting with him. Who's he talking to?_**

**Mr. Moony believes he's sending notes to Miss Evans.**

**_Mr. Padfoot considers that impossible. Evans never reads or returns his notes._**

Dang it guys. We have a problem.

**What did you do now?**

Mr. Prongs didn't do anything! It's just that Evans knows our secret about note-passing now.

Lily, I beg you not to do anything about that. Please.

-James

_Why shouldn't I? You're Head Boy. You should pay attention in classes. And it's certainly not helping your friends to never learn anything._

_-Evans_

We learn things! We just don't see the need to pay attention once we have.

-James

_That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard._

_-Evans_

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees. This is a crisis._**

Mr. Prongs is well aware of that.

**_Mr. Padfoot urges Mr. Prongs to do something about this. Quickly._**

What doesn't Mr. Padfoot think Mr. Prongs is doing?

**_Very well. Continue with that please, good sir._**

Gladly. Now leave me be.

Please, Lily. Don't turn us in. we don't need any more detentions.

-James

_And whose fault is that?_

_-Evans_

Our own. We know. But please? It's harmless.

-James

_You say that about everything._

_-Evans_

Not everything. Honest. Please. We're not hurting anyone but ourselves.

-James

**_A thought has occurred to Mr. Padfoot._**

_Oh?_

**_Mr. Padfoot recalls that it was Mr. Moony is the one who introduced Miss Evans to our note-passing._**

**Mr. Moony is aware of that.**

**_Therefore, it was fault of Mr. Moony that we are now in this crisis._**

**Mr. Moony has a bad feeling about the direction this conversation is heading.**

_I know why you don't want me to turn you in._

_-Evans_

You do? So you'll let it all go?

-James

_Not so fast. I never said that. I just said I know why you don't want to be in trouble right now, James Potter._

_-Evans_

And why is that?

-James

_Because you don't want to get banned from another Quidditch game._

_-Evans_

I haven't been banned this year! I've been at every game and practice.

-James

_You haven't been banned yet. Face it, Potter. Your track record isn't so great here._

_-Evans_

_Mr. Wormtail sees truth in Mr. Padfoot's statements._

**Mr. Moony really doesn't like this conversation.**

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Moony should serve a suitable punishment for crisis instagatment._**

**Mr. Moony points out that "instagatment" isn't a word.**

**_Well, it should be._**

**Too bad. It isn't.**

**_Should be._**

**Isn't.**

**_Should be._**

**Is—I am SO not playing this game with you.**

**_Dang it._**

My Quidditch playing aside, can you please not turn us in?

-James

_I'm Head Girl, Potter. I have to._

_-Evans_

I'm Head Boy.

-James

_You should have turned yourself in._

_-Evans_

That's not something I can do. Marauder's honor.

-James

**_How's it coming Prongs?_**

Badly. Leave me alone.

**Mr. Moony really doesn't like the sound of that.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't mind. What are a few more detentions on top of the ones he already has?_**

**Mr. Moony is glad he doesn't have that problem.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't think of it as a problem, but a release._**

_Mr. Wormtail is beginning to think Mr. Padfoot has truly gone off the deep end._

**Mr. Moony agrees.**

**_Mr. Padfoot is perfectly fine, thank you very much._**

Please, Lily. I'll do anything.

-James

_Anything? Really? You're willing to make that promise?_

_-Evans_

Yes. I'll do anything for you. I mean, I can't control my friends, but I'll do what you like.

-James

**_Mr. Padfoot has remembered that Mr. Moony ought to be punished for his disloyalty._**

**Mr. Moony disagrees, once again.**

**_Too bad._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what Mr. Padfoot has in mind._

**_Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Moony should be his slave for a day._**

**Mr. Moony thinks that's ridiculous.**

_Mr. Wormtail would like to point out that Mr. Moony's disloyalty was towards all of us, just not you, Padfoot. If anything Moony should be slaves to all of us for a day._

**_On separate days, of course._**

**Mr. Moony refuses. He will not be anyone's slave.**

**_Mr. Padfoot would like to remind Mr. Moony that the offender doesn't get to choose his punishment._**

_Alright, Potter. I have one request._

_-Evans_

Yes? What is it?

-James

_I won't turn you in if you don't ask me out ever again._

_-Evans_

What?!

_It's that or no deal._

_-Evans_

Alright. Deal. I won't ask you out again. Unless you want me to.

-James

_I won't want you to._

_-Evans_

Then what's the harm in adding that condition?

-James

_Fine. It's a deal._

_-Evans_

Good news gentlemen. Crisis is averted.

…

Guys? What have you three been doing?!

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoyed. :D

Thanks for reading and I'd love to know what you think! (About anything. I'm open to discussion non-chapter related if you must.) :D

~esin


	27. No, Really, I Mean It

**A/N:** Hey people! :D Happy August!

According to my brother all reviewers get "pound cake with whipped cream and berries-lots of berries". So the twelve-year-old has spoken and the following people get, well, that: _LoneStorm, MissiB, shadowkat678, 4everbookworm, Icestorm238, KL, Anon x, Ginnybell,_ _Dancer055,_ and_ Sleepwalkingluna14_.

**KL**: Thanks for the review and I'm glad! I think both of those things are important to bring in about the Marauders. :D

**Anon x**: Thank you. I can so see Moony like that (obviously) and I'm glad you like it.

**Ginnybell**: Thank you so much. I plan on posting a lot more, not in Harry Potter for a while after this story, though. I hope you stick around to enjoy the rest of this though! There is definitely more to come!

Credit for the idea for this chapter goes to **i am red** **john**. :D

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven: No, Really, I Mean It

In Muggle Studies…

**_Mr. Padfoot is looking forward to this weekend._**

_Mr. Wormtail wonders what is so special about this weekend._

**_Mr. Padfoot is excited for the Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw game on Saturday._**

Mr. Prongs wonders why on earth that would be. Ravenclaw stinks. It's going to be an awful match.

**_Yes, Mr. Padfoot knows that. But Mr. Prongs has not considered Mr. Padfoot's favorite part of Quidditch._**

Mr. Prongs wonders what that is.

**_Why, the after-party, of course._**

_Mr. Wormtail can't believe we didn't guess that._

Mr. Prongs agrees. Are you planning it this time, Padfoot?

**_Yeah. Are you guys up for a trip out to Honeydukes Friday night?_**

Mr. Prongs would be delighted.

_As would Mr. Wormtail._

**_Moony? How about you?_**

**Mr. Moony regrets to say that he will not being joining you Friday night. Hope you guys have fun though.**

Why not?

**_Moony!_**

**Mr. Moony won't even be at school this weekend.**

What?!

**_No!_**

_Why?_

Mr. Prongs inquires as to where Mr. Moony will be.

**Mr. Moony's mother is ill. He has to go home and care for her.**

_Mr. Wormtail has a strange sense of déjà vu from that statement._

**_Mr. Padfoot wants to bash his head on the desk at Mr. Wormtail's poor memory._**

Mr. Prongs is hurt by Mr. Moony's lack of trust in his friends.

**_Mr. Padfoot agrees. We thought we were over this stage already._**

**Mr. Moony is puzzled as to what his friends are talking about.**

Moony, it's okay. We know about your furry little problem.

**_Yeah. And the full moon isn't until Sunday night so you'll be fine. We can take it slow down the passage if you're feeling poorly._**

**What—Oh. Mr. Moony now understands what Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs are on about.**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't._

**_Mr. Padfoot really wants to bash his head on the desk._**

Mr. Prongs asks that Mr. Wormtail remember first and second year. What was Mr. Moony's excuse at full moons for leaving us?

_That he had to go home to see his mother because she was sick._

**_Please re-read the beginning of this conversation._**

_Ohhhh. Mr. Wormtail feels stupid now._

**_It's okay. Happens to the best of us._**

Mr. Prongs assures Mr. Moony that he doesn't need to hide his secrets from them. That excuse doesn't work anymore.

**Mr. Moony thinks his friends are jumping to conclusions.**

**_Mr. Padfoot doesn't jump to conclusions._**

**Mr. Moony isn't even going to get into all the ways that statement is false.**

Mr. Prongs is with Mr. Moony on this. Mr. Padfoot could win an award for his prowess at jumping to conclusions.

**Mr. Moony would like to set his friends straight. His mother is actually ill. He's actually going home to see her this weekend.**

Wait. What?

**_She's actually sick? That's not possible._**

**Mr. Moony is afraid to say that it is possible. It's serious. I'm going home to see her this weekend.**

**_I'm Sirius._**

Not funny, Padfoot. Not now.

**_Sorry, Moony._**

**It's fine. I leave Friday evening after classes are over.**

Mr. Prongs wonders what Mr. Moony plans to do for the full moon.

**Mr. Moony supposes he'll stay at home. There's a shed he uses to transform in during the summers.**

_Mr. Wormtail will miss Mr. Moony. He was looking forward to this month's adventure._

**Mr. Moony was too. Sorry guys. I need to be with her.**

Mr. Prongs offers his condolences. He'll miss Mr. Moony, but he understands that he needs to go. Hope your mum gets better.

**_Mr. Padfoot wonders is this is all some big ruse to hide the fact the Mr. Moony has a girlfriend—OW! What was that for?_**

Because you're in insensitive idiot, that's what.

**_Mr. Padfoot misses last year. Mr. Prongs was fun last year._**

**Mr. Moony is glad Mr. Prongs is showing some semblance of maturity. It's refreshing to not have to deal with idiocy all the time.**

**_Mr. Padfoot takes offense to that._**

**Mr. Moony believes he has a point.**

**_Mr. Padfoot has changed his mind. He's glad Mr. Moony is leaving. And he can take Mr. Prongs with him. He and Wormtail will have fun here without you._**

**Mr. Moony has no doubt they will.**

Mr. Prongs highly doubts that Mr. Padfoot would want that. You'd miss us too much.

_And Mr. Wormtail isn't sure he's up for the kind of fun Mr. Padfoot no doubt has in mind._

**_What kind of fun is that? The fun kind? Cause that's what I was thinking of._**

_No, the get girls kind._

**_Mr. Padfoot isn't going after guys with you if that's what you mean, Wormtail._**

_No! That's not what I meant. I meant that I don't really like parties. Or being in the middle of things._

See Padfoot? You'd be bored to tears without me.

**_Fine. You can stay._**

**Mr. Moony is glad because taking Prongs with him wasn't ever really an option.**

**_Mr. Padfoot hopes Mr. Moony's transformation goes well without them there._**

Yeah. Will you be alright, Moony?

**I'll be fine. Thanks guys. Have fun at the match and the party.**

**_We'll write!_**

**Mr. Moony supposes you can if you like, but I'm only going to be gone for a few days.**

**_Sniff. We'll miss you Mooooony! *sob* Hogwarts won't be the same without you! I don't know if I can take it!_**

**Er, thanks Padfoot. I'll miss you too.**

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys like the chapter. Please feel free to say something about it in that little review box down there :D

As of the past week or so, I've started beta reading a story for **GirlReaderz**. It's another Marauders' fic and if you'd like to check it out, it's called "A Tour Through the Past". Check it out and review for her! :D

See you next week... for something many of you have been waiting for...

~esin


	28. The Aftermath

**A/N:** And here's the moment you've been waiting for! This week!

Reviewers are lovely. Siriusly. Love you guys. This week I'm giving out this awesome ice cream I found. It's called "salted caramel and pretzel". It sounds weird, yes, but it's _amazing_. These reviews are: _maraudergirl68448, MissiB, shadowkat678, The Imaginatrix, Sleepwalkingluna14, shovelgirlERB000, 4everbookworm, The Demigod Gryffindor, M.S. Franklin, Melody, Catheline, LeahLumos, Raven-Croven, w0nderstruck1,_ and _Minie Dumbledore_. Thank you so much. We have passed 300 reviews, which is more than I ever imagined possible.

**Melody (Guest)**: Thank you so much. And I hope you like this chapter ;)

**Minie Dumbledore**: You're back! :) Don't feel ashamed, but I did miss you. This should make you happy... :D

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Aftermath

In Transfiguration…

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Padfoot has let half the class go by without saying a single thing._

_**Mr. Padfoot is honestly amused enough to just watch Mr. Prongs for the moment.**_

_Mr. Wormtail cannot comprehend how that would be amusing in the least._

**Mr. Moony thinks that would be obvious. Mr. Prongs currently is the picture of a moon-struck fool.**

_**Mr. Wormtail wonders where Mr. Moony has seen a moon-stuck fool before. For comparison's sake.**_

_**Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Wormtail not to make ridiculous comments.**_

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot to poke Mr. Prongs. Maybe we can get him to talk to us.**

_**Mr. Padfoot highly doubts that. Highly doubts.**_

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't see the harm in trying._

Mr. Prongs wishes that his friends would leave him alone.

**Mr. Moony is actually beginning to be rather concerned for Mr. Prongs. This behavior is so unusual of him.**

Mr. Prongs feels higher than the clouds at the moment and begs that his friends let him remain that way.

_**Mr. Padfoot restrains himself from sighing loudly (and thus incurring McGonagall's wrath). He had thought Mr. Prongs was over this by now.**_

_Mr. Wormtail now thinks that it is Mr. Padfoot who is being ridiculous. After all, Mr. Prongs has only been talking about this day for the past five years._

_**Mr. Padfoot supposes this is true.**_

**Mr. Moony wonders if we should just let him go at it. Get it out of his system.**

_**Mr. Padfoot isn't sure he would be able to handle that. It's going to be sickening.**_

**Mr. Moony supposes that it is then fortunate that Mr. Padfoot is seated in the back of the room today.**

_**Mr. Padfoot agrees. It means he doesn't have to watch out for McGonagall as closely.**_

**Mr. Moony wasn't referring to that, but instead to Mr. Padfoot's close proximity to the trash.**

_**Ah. Mr. Padfoot supposes that's a good thing too.**_

_Mr. Wormtail is nervous. You're not seriously going to let Prongs do this, are you?_

_**No, he's going to Siriusly let Prongs do this.**_

Shut up, Padfoot.

[two minutes later…]

**Mr. Moony would like Mr. Padfoot to know that he thoroughly deserved that.**

Mr. Prongs agrees.

_Mr. Wormtail finds it amusing that Mr. Padfoot would tempt fate like that._

_**Mr. Padfoot is annoyed. Siriusly. He writes her name and—**_

[and another minute…]

_**Mr. Padfoot now finds it imprudent to write anymore. Talk to you after class, boys. A week of detention is enough for me.**_

**Mr. Moony rather thinks that Mr. Padfoot deserves the consequences of his actions.**

_Mr. Wormtail doesn't care if he deserved them or not. It was amusing to watch._

**Mr. Moony wonders if Mr. Prongs is paying attention to anything.**

Mr. Prongs certainly isn't listening to the lesson, if that's what Mr. Moony was wondering.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders if it would truly be beneficial to let Mr. Prongs go on this one. Really, will it change anything?_

**Mr. Moony hopes it will.**

Mr. Prongs wouldn't mind.

_That's what Mr. Wormtail was afraid of._

**Mr. Moony supposes the only thing we can do is try and hope.**

_Mr. Wormtail reluctantly agrees. Very well._

**Mr. Moony gives Mr. Prongs the go-ahead. Tell us all about everything in one go.**

Mr. Prongs is still in slight denial… She came to him last evening, beautiful as ever. She asked for a word, nothing more—

_Mr. Wormtail is in pain already._

**Just shut up and let him go for it. He'll get it out of his system.**

—I followed her out, out to that deserted corridor. She asked if I remembered our deal. Remembered? Does she not know that I cherish every word she says to me as a precious gem? That I sit up remembering her every movement late into the lonely night? She is the most beautiful of women. A star, radiant in the darkness—

**Mr. Moony requests that Mr. Prongs get back on topic.**

Right. She said that she had tried to be happy with it, but that she missed me. She was lonely without my constant presence at her side. Oh glorious rapture!

_Please tell me he's not serious about this._

_**He's not Sirius. I am.**_

**Mr. Moony is most upset that Mr. Padfoot is in one of these moods again.**

_Mr. Wormtail inquires whether or not Mr. Prongs is done yet._

**Mr. Moony doesn't think he is.**

—she admitted her love for me in that dank and dusty corridor, declaring that she had fallen despite herself—

_**Yeah, he's not done.**_

**I thought you weren't writing so you don't get another detention.**

Oh, right.

—of course I admitted my magnificent, joyous elation to her and we are now united by the bonds love and official relationship—

_**Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that most school-age relationships fail…**_

**Mr. Moony doesn't think that's helpful.**

—my life is now a dream come true, a whole new world with fair maiden by my side—

_**Mr. Padfoot has grown quite tired of this.**_

_Mr. Wormtail thinks he's going to be sick._

**Mr. Moony is slightly amused. He didn't know Mr. Prongs was capable of such awful poetic elaboration.**

_**Mr. Padfoot supposes that is because Mr. Moony has never had to read one of Prongs' letters to his dear Miss Evans.**_

_Mr. Wormtail begs his fellow Messrs. to please do something about this. It's revolting._

**Mr. Moony supposes we could show this sheet to Miss Evans. I suppose she would have something to say about it.**

_**Mr. Padfoot considers that an excellent idea. I mean, look at the sheer cheesiness and arrogance displayed here… maybe she needs to see the real James Potter.**_

Nooooo!

**What was that?**

Mr. Prongs begs that this conversation be kept private.

_**Mr. Padfoot wonders why we should do such a thing.**_

_Mr. Wormtail seconds that._

Fine. Mr. Prongs admits.

**And what does he admit?**

I was playing with you. I was being over-dramatic on purpose. I didn't quite mean… all of that. It was a melodramatic exaggeration. Sorry guys. Don't show Lily. I don't want her to dump me already!

**Mr. Moony accepts the apology.**

_**As does Mr. Padfoot. With this new confession he supposes it is rather funny.**_

_Mr. Wormtail just hopes Mr. Prongs never does it again._

Mr. Prongs promises.

_**It occurs to Mr. Padfoot that he still doesn't know what "melodramatic" means.**_

**Mr. Moony is tired of explaining. Go look it up on your own, Padfoot.**

* * *

**A/N:** Well, this has been the longest chapter in a while, so I hope you enjoyed it. I was a little apprehensive going into it and ending up procrastinating writing it all week, so I hope it passes. :D

Wishing you all a great week and see you next for more hilarity. Review please-I'd love to hear any thoughts you have! :)

~esin


	29. Anybody Want A Peanut?

**A/N: ** Hullooooo! :D

The wonderful, awesome, amazing reviewers this week get a large slice of brownie mocha torte because they're that awesome. Seriously, all your reviews mean so much to me. I'm so grateful for your kind words. Thank you to _Sleepwalkingluna14, alicewiggles, MissiB, LeahLumos, Shadowkat678, The Imaginatrix, 4everbookworm, Irishdanceringrulz1776, LoneStorm, shovelgirlERB000, jojo,_ _the demigod gryd, _and _Minie Dumbledore_. Double thanks to alicewiggles for all over reviews and welcome!

**jojo**: Thank you so much. And yes, Sirius is often in need of a dictionary... but we still love him, don't we? Hope you're still reading and enjoy this chapter!

**the demigod gryd**: I'll be joining you in your happy dance. Thanks. :D

**Minie Dumbledore**: Thanks. I enjoy your speculation, but I won't say what you do and don't have right. I'm glad you love the Jily, but just don't be disappointed if that doesn't become the main focus. This is still a Marauders story, but Lily will be in and out. Remember, she approves of the rule-breaking even less than Moony does. Hope you like this chapter :D

Putting a general disclaimer for this chapter: I do not in any way own _The Princess Bride_ and my brothers own the inspiration for James and Sirius' game.

~esin

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Anybody Want A Peanut?

In Charms…

_**Mr. Padfoot is feeling positively dead.**_

Mr. Prongs suggests that he ought to go to bed.

_**Mr. Padfoot's feeling led to do something else instead.**_

Mr. Prongs wonders if this is due to a book he's read.

_**Mr. Padfoot wouldn't want to read. He'd rather go off to the side and bleed.**_

Of course he could always dress in tweed.

_**And drink all Rosmerta's mead.**_

That would cost another mouth to feed.

_Mr. Wormtail wonders why Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs aren't making any sense._

_**Mr. Padfoot would, but sense would cost him pence.**_

Mr. Prongs would have to speak in another tense.

_**About that Mr. Padfoot is riding the fence.**_

**Mr. Moony begs Mr. Padfoot and Mr. Prongs to stop confusing our friend Wormtail.**

_**Yes, indeed. He might have to puke in a pail.**_

At that rhyme you most certainly did fail.

_**Mr. Padfoot doesn't like that Mr. Prongs would his reputation derail.**_

**Mr. Moony wishes Mr. Padfoot would at least be grammatically correct.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony should join a sect.

_**Yes, a sect for the grammatically correct.**_

You can't just reuse my last words.

_**But Mr. Padfoot wishes to fly up with the birds.**_

Mr. Prongs would go to see the world.

_**Mr. Padfoot would grasp it with his fingers curled.**_

_Mr. Wormtail is most confused._

_**Mr. Padfoot wants to leave Snivelly bruised.**_

At that Mr. Prongs would be most amused.

**Mr. Moony is not amused at all.**

_**Mr. Padfoot can't help what harm might befall—**_

—poor old Snivelly once and for all.

_**Mr. Padfoot wouldn't hurt him much.**_

Just enough so he'd use a crutch.

_Mr. Wormtail asks again what is going on._

(Mr. Prongs wishes to lie on a lawn.)

**Mr. Moony is not enjoying this poetry.**

_**Mr. Padfoot follows Mr. Prongs with loyalty.**_

Mr. Prongs doesn't think that rhymes.

_**What are you going to do, squirt me with limes?**_

Mr. Prongs believes Mr. Padfoot rather behind the times. It is so out of date to be squirted with limes.

_**Mr. Padfoot thinks it worthy of his crimes.**_

Crimes of being behind the times?

_**Indeed good sir.**_

Mr. Prongs thinks that the crimes might blur.

_**To his best friend's wisdom, Mr. Padfoot will defer.**_

Of course if such a pardon did occur—

_**Mr. Padfoot wouldn't bet his fur.**_

_Mr. Wormtail is done with you two._

Mr. Prongs finds Mr. Wormtail's lack of patience true.

_**Mr. Padfoot wishes for something new.**_

Mr. Prongs might share his doodles.

_**Of which of course he must have oodles.**_

**Oodles of doodles of poodles with noodles. We know.**

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Moony is starting to get this game.

_**Mr. Padfoot is glad that ignorant he did not remain.**_

Indeed for that would have been a shame.

_**Rhymes are Mr. Padfoot's claim to fame.**_

With out them, Mr. Prongs is sure he would not have a name.

_**They burst forth from Mr. Padfoot like a flame.**_

Without them Mr. Prongs is not quite the same.

**Mr. Moony is quite sick of this.**

_**But Mr. Padfoot is finding it all pure bliss.**_

If we stopped now, it Mr. Prongs would miss.

_**Mr. Padfoot wishes Mr. Moony would not their game diss.**_

Mr. Prongs can use this method to reminisce.

**Alright. Stop rhyming! And I mean it!**

_**(Anybody want a peanut?)**_

* * *

**A/N:** Hope that brought a smile. Just a little silliness for you. :D And after Prongs' poetry in Chapter 28, we needed a different sort...

A review would be lovely. If you'd like. Just a few words before you close this page?

~esin


	30. Stalker Much?

**A/N:** Wow. Thirty chapters. 350 reviews. I never thought this little story would make it this far. I was expecting, like, fifteen chapters. At the most. But we've still got a while to go, so hang in there!

Thank you so much to my reviews, new and old: _4everbookworm, LoneStorm, The Imaginatrix, shadowkat678, shovelgirlERB000, The Demigod Gryffindor, Rowena Sl, LeahLumos, Icestorm238, Sleepwalkingluna14, erised185, MissiB, Minie Dumbledore, jojo, Catheline, alexandra rose, Andrewick118, GeekyGirlMeow, _and _Red Moon Loll__ipop_. You all get M&M cookies because they're happy cookies.

**jojo**: Thanks so much. They indeed can rhyme anything. :)

**alexandra rose**: Welcome and thank you! They are truly awful, aren't they? But that's what makes them so funny! Hope to see you again!

**Minie Dumbledore**: I'm totally with you. Jily is great, but just Marauder stuff is the best :D You're very welcome. I'm writing this to make you glad, it's good to hear that I'm successful. :D

~esin

* * *

Chapter Thirty: Stalker Much?

The Gryffindor common room…

**Mr. Moony is convinced this is a bad idea.**

_Mr. Wormtail is in complete agreement. This is a bad idea._

_**Come on guys! It will be fun.**_

_Mr. Wormtail does suppose there's no going back now._

**Mr. Moony thinks we could just ignore Mr. Padfoot.**

_**Nooooooo! Don't leave me! I'll be lonely!**_

_Mr. Wormtail won't leave. It's not like he has anything better to do with his Saturday night._

_**Mr. Padfoot knows someone who has something good to do with his Saturday night…**_

_Who?_

_**Prongs of course!**_

_Oh, right._

**Mr. Moony supposes he'll stay. **

_**Mr. Padfoot had thought so.**_

**Mr. Moony requests that Mr. Padfoot not begin his thought in the middle. We have no clue what you're talking about.**

_**Mr. Padfoot knew Mr. Moony secretly desires to hear all about this date.**_

**Mr. Moony certainly does not!**

_**Yes you do. You just don't want to admit it. So you're going to act like Wormy and I are forcing you into this when you're really at perfect liberty to leave at any time.**_

**Mr. Moony doesn't think Mr. Padfoot is making any sense at all.**

_**Mr. Padfoot is too making sense. Mr. Moony just doesn't want to admit that I'm right.**_

_Mr. Wormtail wishes Mr. Padfoot would get to the point of this venture rather than start more pointless arguments with Mr. Moony._

**Mr. Moony would be happy not to argue with Mr. Padfoot anymore.**

_**Mr. Padfoot obliges gladly.**_

_Well?_

_**Mr. Padfoot is sitting in the corner of The Three Broomsticks—**_

_Mr. Wormtail wishes to applaud Mr. Prongs for his creativity._

_**Mr. Padfoot begs Mr. Wormtail to be quiet. Do you want to hear or not?**_

_Yes. Continue._

_**Anyway, Mr. Padfoot is about five feet away from our targets—**_

**Mr. Moony wishes Mr. Padfoot wouldn't call Prongs and Lily "targets". We're not hunting them.**

_**AHA! You said "we"! I was RIGHT!**_

**Mr. Moony didn't mean it literally…**

_Mr. Wormtail inquires how else it could be meant._

**Mr. Moony… never mind. Continue, Padfoot.**

_**It seems that they're just eating and talking. Mr. Padfoot would get closer to them, but he fears they might hear the scratching of his quill and grow suspicious.**_

_So you can't hear what they're saying?_

_**Mr. Padfoot is sorry to say that, no, he cannot. They're sitting quite close together and talking quietly anyway, so moving closer might not even help. It would only get me caught.**_

**Mr. Moony thinks Mr. Padfoot is a rather lousy stalker if he can only watch them from a distance.**

_**Mr. Padfoot doesn't think he's a stalker.**_

**You're following them around under an invisibility cloak, Padfoot. You're stalking them.**

_**No, I'm not.**_

_Mr. Wormtail begs Mr. Padfoot to remember Prongs' behavior towards Miss Evans last year._

_**Yeah, I remember. What about it?**_

_That was stalking. Therefore what you're doing now is stalking._

_**Ah. Fine. I'm stalking them. But who made Moony the stalking guru?**_

**Mr. Moony doesn't know what Mr. Padfoot means by that.**

_Mr. Wormtail believes Mr. Padfoot doesn't believe Mr. Moony has the right to tell him he's a bad stalker._

_**Exactly.**_

**Mr. Moony is just surprised that after talking non-stop about stalking them on a date ever since they got together, Mr. Padfoot would try harder to be able to hear them.**

_Mr. Wormtail supposes this is surprising._

_**Mr. Padfoot admits it. This isn't as exciting as I thought it would be.**_

**Mr. Moony wants to go bang his head against a wall.**

_Mr. Wormtail thinks that sounds painful. He wishes Mr. Moony wouldn't._

**Mr. Moony was expressing his exasperation. He's not actually going to bash his head on a wall.**

_**Mr. Padfoot thinks he's going to head back up to the castle now.**_

**Mr. Moony is preparing his "I told you so" for when Mr. Padfoot returns.**

_**Mr. Padfoot asks Mr. Moony to keep it to himself. He's ashamed enough as it is.**_

_Mr. Wormtail is going to bed. Good night. And thanks for the disappointing evening, Padfoot._

_**It wasn't my fault!**_

**Mr. Moony is leaving as well. He does have homework to do.**

_**I told you so.**_

**What?**

_**I told you so. I've beaten you to saying it. You're only leaving because I'm coming back. So there. You wanted to hear about Prongs' date.**_

**You know what, Padfoot? Shut up.**

_**Mr. Padfoot bids his friends goodnight. I'll be back in twenty or so.**_

…

Mr. Prongs would like to say that he and Lily found that exchange rather amusing. Just put the Cloak back, Padfoot.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Why not leave a review? Good stuff, bad stuff, random stuff, it's all cool.

Hey, so as some of you may have seen, I've posted another story,_ Inside My Mind_. I will not be abandoning this one. I'm going to keep up posting both. Now, I would also like to say that although it's for another fandom (Once Upon A Time), I'd like you to check it out. It's a total and complete AU, so you don't need to know anything about the show to understand the story. Actually, it was supposed to be an original piece, but I converted to a fanfic for worldbuilding stuff and am re-introducing all the characters and everything because of it. And, of course, I'm willing to answer and questions you might have. So yeah, please check it out. It would mean the world (this story has been in the works for three years and I'm seriously in love with it).

Love you all and thank you for being so supportive and faithful with this story.

~esin


End file.
